OMG RATATAT!
I picked up Ratatat's self-titled debut album yesterday from eMusic, and OMG TEH MUSIC. It's like someone took an orchestra worth of electric guitars and keyboards and played music that sounded like the wonderful stuff from the 16-bit era of gaming music. Then take the resulting track and melt it ever so slightly, to make it warm and gooey like nacho cheese. The fact that the band consists of like two guys makes this both impressive and confusing.

That might not make sense, but it doesn't change the fact that I have had Seventeen Years and El Pico running through my head for the past 24 hours straight. Highly recommended.  ¶ 8:04 p.m. 0 comments

  Crap!
I knew there was a catch. No sooner do I discover how wonderful eMusic.com is and start pimping it out, I see they show up on BoingBoing:

This data sale appeared today in Direct Marketing News. It proposes to sell the personal information of those who subscribe to "an online digital music community...These consumers pay anywhere from $9.00 to $19.99 a month to gain access to a diverse catalog of over 500,000 music downloads in a variety of genres from top independent labels." The "datacard" says that the company has race, age, gender, religion, and income information on the subscribers. I'm wondering what music subscription site is selling their members' data!

So yeah, it seems like it's eMusic. From their Terms of Service:

Our Disclosure of Your Information
We may make your information available to others:
[a few bullets down:] Who are trusted third parties (e.g., promotional partners and advertisers) so that they can promote their products and services and those of their affiliates and partners based on your preferences and interests. You may "opt out" of such disclosure(s) to the extent they include your personally identifiable information by sending an email at any time to service@emusic.com indicating your intent to do so.

Needless to say, I am going to be doing this. No spam for me, thank you. Somewhat disheartening, and I'll be sure to point this out whenever I pimp the site, such as now, but unless they manage to screw up pretty badly, I think I'm going to stick with them for at least as long as my free trial lasts.  ¶ 4:45 p.m. 0 comments

  I want one.
I'm not British, and have nothing to do with their election. That said, I think They Work For You.com is possibly the best political website ever. In short, you enter your postal code and find your MP. You can then see everything that they did (or didn't do) during their elected term.

This is the way government should be: open. If you're British, go to the site and use it. Make an informed decision. If your MP did nothing or did things you don't agree with, find out what those running against them would have done. If they come to your door, you can ask them, and if not, they'll surely have left a pamphlet with contact information.

I sincerely hope that a site like this is formed for every country where elections are held, and that's not hyperbole in the slightest.  ¶ 1:45 p.m. 0 comments

  Case in point.
I believe firmly that the publishing industry as we know it is akin to a terminally ill patient. It's got a hopeful face on, but deep down I think it knows it's on the same road that phonographs, horses and buggies and the 8-track went down. Those that make the return trip are few and far between, and those that do make it do so usually because of luck or the fickle whim of the market, and not because of their own efforts.

While the music industry has been the poster child for this condition, the video game market is also starting to decay pretty badly. It might not show it, but one only has to read news like this to see it:

It is with great sadness that Elixir Studios today announced it is to cease day-to-day operations, effective immediately, and will seek the orderly sale and re-use of all its remaining assets and IP.

The death of a game company like Elixir is sad, but we'll get by. Other companies have been and gone, and still more will do the same. The closure of the company is less important than the reasons WHY it closed. See, Elixir made some odd games. They weren't perfect, but conceptually they were ahead of the curve. Republic was intended to be a political game unlike any other, in which you take over a country Green Party-style from the grassroots up, employing whatever methods you deem fit. That's just plain cool, but it's also not too typical. I have a hard enough time trying to explain the game, and I know something about the history behind it, and other games that could be compared to it. Joe Six-pack shuffling into Gamestop or EB and asking a clerk about it is most likely going just shrug and move on to something they're more certain about. It's not that nobody will buy it, but in the minds of the business-type publishing folks that hold the cards, the curveball games like these are a tougher sell than the latest sports patch* or movie tie-in. Case in point:

[Elixir] has been working on a very innovative game ... for the past couple of years. This project was recently cancelled due to the perceived high-risk profile of the endeavour.

...the Board of Directors feel that the current risk averse publishing climate, in the run up to the launch of next generation platforms, virtually precludes the signing of any original IP (which is not already part of a well-established franchise or license), without an unreasonably large strategic investment in the project by the developer themselves.

In short, they're games are odd, and more difficult to pitch, and therefore publishers don't want to risk the millions it now takes to make a game. Whether or not the game is good, or FUN, matters less than whether the game can sell, and I think that just sucks.

Fortunately, game development houses have the tendency of breaking up and reforming. Look at Obsidian, nee Black Isle, or Irrational, nee Looking Glass. I hope we haven't seen the last of Elixir.
-------------------------
* Because really, what's the difference between Madden 2003 and 2004, aside from the fancy new graphics? Numbers. There might be a couple of gameplay tweaks, but the big change is the new players and stats, which at their heart are just that: statistics. Sports games are just glorified patches, more or less unchanged from the 16-bit era of yore. If it weren't for the fact that EA pwnz the NFL, I would say that with downloadable content coming to consoles, the next sports game you buy could possibly be the last. Of course, EA makes more money by selling new games every year, so fat chance of that.  ¶ 11:45 a.m. 0 comments

  I'm all about the spending of money
Why am I buying music now? I was all over the Steal, Don't Purchase bandwagon until I discovered that trying to find my music illegally was more work than knuckling down and buying it for pennies off of the Russian mob!

My big announcement is this: I have found a nearly-as-awesome alternative to Allofmp3.com. Yes, they're still around, and they're still awesome. They even had Aina! The shop I have found, however, has several things going for it:

1. They deal in DRM-free MP3s. This is a big yes. Not as good as the "any format ever, no strings attached" policy of the Soviets, but still good.
   
   
2. They have obscure stuff. They maintain they're indie, and you can't really do that without carrying indie stuff, but still: Mogwai, Ratatat and Polysics, just for three random artists from the QCRL that I'm still looking for. There's probably a whole crapload of stuff that hipsters rave about and that I can't be bothered to care about.
   
   
3. Decent price. Napster was a ahead of it's time, effectively setting the price of music at zero dollars--don't listen to those who say iTunes' buck-a-track is reasonable, 'cuz it's not. The market is still catching up, and Allofmp3 still has the best plan out there, but this is close with a basic service of 10 bucks a month for 40 downloads. Works out to be about 3 albums and a bit, or 25 cents per song, which is still more than nothing, but far more reasonable.

Who is this mysterious benefactor? EMusic.com. They have a 50 mp3 free trial which I am currently abusing to it's full extent. I recommend at least doing the same.  ¶ 10:08 p.m. 2 comments

  Da DAHHHHH doo doo de do de dah.
New podcast. Please enjoy responsibly.  ¶ 8:25 p.m. 0 comments

  What a GREAT idea!
So it seems that people have found a way to vaporize alcohol. I can't possibly imagine why, but there's talking about hangover-free buzzes and such. I'll admit I'm intruigued, and given the opportunity would probably give it a try--it can't be much worse than a regular drinking binge, provided you can't just poison yourself with this vapor stuff. Either way, I'm less concerned about the product itself than about the push to legislate (read: prohibit) these things

Alcohol Without Liquid (AWOL) is a vaporized Vodka delivery system that enables users to "inhale" their liquor. ... Thirteen states are considering legislation to prohibit the sale of AWOL while the Distilled Spirits Council of the United States are also fighting for a nationwide ban.

I suppose in light of the situation, I just have to commend this action. I mean, obviously simply flat out banning these things will stop people from making them and using them, just like flat out banning all those drugs and such did. Backpats and congratulations all around!

Pfeh. The only thing this legislation would do would be: to force the production of said devices out of the country, which I'm sure the economy is just begging for; to force production underground where people can circumvent safety standards and sell you a gizmo just as likely to explode or melt or ignite your house as it is to work properly; or to just cause people to shrug and cobble together a homebrew way of achieving the same thing, likely with the same results as a 10-cent back alley model (being the last point, for those with short attention spans). Way to look out for the public good, folks.

(Update: I read the article at the Herald linked to by BoingBoing, and the company that makes these is already located in Europe. One down, two to go.)  ¶ 3:19 p.m. 0 comments

  I once wanted to move to Finland
Nokia was doing their "recruit slave labor" thing through my coop program, and I figured it would be fun to spend 8 months of my coop term in perma-darkness. Finland is also very close to Sweden, on the grand scale of things (which also puts Winnepeg close to Vancouver, and the Sun close to Jupiter!) and Sweden just hit my news radar.

A young Swede, Jonas Nilson, bought World of Warcraft: Collectors' Edition. Once he got home, he was quite angry when he discovered that he actually needed the Internet to play WoW. After pulling a cable into the living room to his laptop (yes, laptop), he got another surprise: the monthly fee. Finally the 12+ PEGI rating didn't really match with the Blizzard site, which said 18-year-old. So he calls the shop (Elgiganten) to get a refund, which they rejected.

This prompted him to complain to the Consumer Association, which ruled in favor of Mr. Nilson. The result was a prime spot in the Swedish TV-show Plus, which conclusion was that "a monthly fee in computer games is just a clever way to get people's money" and that consumers should "watch this latest trend in computer gaming carefully".

I must say, it took a second or two for the magnitude of this to sink in. The news story about this goes through various reasons why this is dumb, but in essence, it's because Swedish youths who have names that rhyme with Wilson have neither learned to read writings on computer game boxes, nor know anything about what they buy with their precious moneys. I can't really fault them for that--there are many people this side of the big A that do the same thing--but for the consumer rights folks to take it all at face value and not bother to do any checking up on this is just sad.

If it weren't for the bikini teams, ultra-super-mega-high speed internets and the fjords, I would never even go to Sweden, let alone have anything to do with their public interest groups. But those three things pretty much redeem them for a lot of things.  ¶ 3:06 p.m. 0 comments

  Mimi rocks!
I think I've stated before that I'm a big fan of Mimi Smartypants. Whether it's real-time, post-modern meta-analysis of hyphenated words, or the questionable motives of strange hairdressers or just Nora news, I like it. I think it just has something to do with the way she phrases things in ways that just plain make me laugh. For example, regarding her chatting with a fellow bus-rider immediately following the other bus-rider's comments about Michael Jackson:

It is slightly unfortunate that the nice little stranger-bonding moment took place in the context of the alleged sexual abuse of disabled children by a batshit-insane hideously deformed skeleton of a multimillionaire, but there you go.

Gold, I tell ya. Unless you disagree, at which point I must then state that it is better than gold, like molybdenum or something equally amazing.  ¶ 2:07 p.m. 0 comments

  On mergers
I saw the following gracing a clipart caption over on Gamespy:

"The GameStop acquisition of EB is almost as important as the IGN/GameSpy team up."

The first thing I thought of was Penny Arcade. Draw your own conclusions.  ¶ 10:22 p.m. 0 comments

  God of War
I mentioned how great God of War was before, based on my impressions of the first level. The link there goes to the Gamespy review, and I think it pretty much sums up my feelings about the game as well:

• Not enough boss fights, since the ones that are in the game are just SO AWESOME.
  
• Ridiculously cool fighting moves.
  
• Pretty.
  
• Arguably one of the best games on the PS2 evar.

Seriously, I think you would have a hard time convincing me otherwise about that last point. The only game I might make a concession for would be Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, and I posit that a game combining the best elements of both would be literally too good to keep contained on a disc. You would need divine intervention to be able to play it, it would be that amazing.

Still, God of War == the good stuff right here, and if you have a PS2, run-don't-walk to where you can get it and play this one.  ¶ 10:19 p.m. 0 comments

  Bah.
I was going to have a podcast ready for Sunday, but I didn't get to it.

I was also going to make progress at work, but I've hit the programming equivalent of writer's block.

I was going to post here, but then I hit the writer's equivalent of writer's block.

Bah.  ¶ 7:07 p.m. 0 comments

  Forget the DDR guy
Half-Life 3/4 of an hour, yo.

I want to say this is a fake. I want to say that nobody is able to do this, and that it's like the Mario 3 in 11 minutes--done through a slo-mo hack and lots of patience. I really, really do. The video has a surreal feeling to it that everything is just too slick, that something is wrong.

But. I've played Half-Life a fair bit. I've seen people play Counter-Strike really, really well. I know some of the odd quirks of the Half-Life engine, such as the act of merely touching a ladder stops you dead, or that water of any depth negates falling damage. These little touches, like the fact that you move slightly faster holding the crowbar, or while sidestepping in mid-air. This guy bends the rules of the game to the breaking point. He knows where all the enemies are, and exactly how many hits of which weapons kill them the fastest. He knows the ins and outs of all the levels, and he can maneuver with jumps and do the "you can't hit me" dance* like the best CS players can. He can do things that I would never have though of, like using the trip-laser mines like stepping stones, or the snarks as an elevator, or using the slanted walls of the canyon in the Surface Tension chapter to Gauss-jump up the sides over the top of the map. He skips entire chapters of the game by forcing doors open by pushing NPCs around.

I'm still not going to say it's 100% geniune, but it would surprise me not at all to find out that it is. It's a long watch at 45 minutes, but if you have an appreciation for speedgaming, or for Half-Life, it's worth it.
------------------------
* Less glorious than it sounds, this is basically just quickly moving in random directions just enough to avoid getting hit. It works surprisingly well.  ¶ 8:54 p.m. 0 comments

  Well shucks
I guess you caught me on a "creative" day. Go figger.  ¶ 7:20 p.m. 0 comments

  Coffee vs. Tea
In a cage match, Coffee would win. Hands down, it's the more vicious of the two, and that's why it's a morning drink. You can argue with me if you like, Britain, but I say that drinking tea in the morning makes as much sense as putting a turn signal on a toaster. Sure, you can do it, by why?

It's not the caffeine. Coffee and tea both have caffeine in them, and they both wake you up. The difference, I think, is in how they do that. Coffee is like a drill sergeant or an angry rooster. Sure, it gets you up and semi-alert, but it does so by punching you in the face, tossing you into a cold shower and then screaming at you steadily and unrelentingly. Metaphorically, of course. The Tea situation, on the other hand, is much more like running a marathon against sleep. It forms the hallucination of a bed at the end of the tunnel, and implies that if you just pick yourself up and keep going, you can collapse when you get there. It is less of a "grab by the collar and haul" kind of getting up, and more of a "coax into action".

This is why I think that coffee is a morning drink. In the morning, you need someone to just pick you up and say, "Look son, you've had your comfy time in bed, but now the sun is up and the unpleasantness needs to occur. It's how the world works. I'm sorry, but it's for your own good." Then it starts with the hitting and the shouting. If you think that mornings are happy times full of bird songs and are wonderful things indeed, well then piss off, you probably don't drink coffee anyways. I know of only one person who does not fit into either of those categories, and he does not wake up so much as he scares the morning into submission.

Tea is an evening drink. Because of it's Coax Into Action powers, it's ideal for simply prolonging the evening. You're tired, and yes, you intend to go to bed eventually, but first there's this Deadmines run that just HAS to get finished, or perhaps just one more chapter of a good book that needs to be read. Tea just gently pulls you along so you can finish things up and retire. It's not about turning lights on, but dimming them before they go out altogether.

To conclude, with the ultimate non-sequitur in the most literal of definitions no less, Jeffery Rowland is still a mad, mad genius. I have no idea why I find today's Overcompensating so insanely hilarious, but it is. No, I'm not high, and no, it's not just because I like Weedmaster P. There's something else, something special.  ¶ 3:20 p.m. 0 comments

  Today is a good day for the internet
Yet another funny post over at Game Girl Advance about EA:

Riding what can only be described as a licensing title wave, EA is set to announce that it has brokered an exclusive licensing agreement with God, The Almighty.

In an unofficial statement, Larry Probst said, "Well, we really feel it was a good deal for us. I mean, we have a quite a few titles that feature God in them, such as Populus, Black and White, and even The Sims, just to name a few. We felt that it was in our best interests to get the exclusive on Him before anyone else had the chance to snap Him up."

It's funny because in five years, it'll probably be true.  ¶ 1:17 p.m. 0 comments

  I am simultaneously in awe and horror
This kid got skills. On the one hand, I bow to his multitasking mastery of being able to play Dance Dance Revolution whilst juggling three pins. I mean, I can't even juggle pins, or even juggle anything and dance at the same time. On the other hand, however, it is quite shocking to know the lengths that some people will go to perfect what is essentially, a parlour trick. This isn't even a trick you can do anywhere, since you need the DDR machine.

Still, definitely worth watching for the novelty.  ¶ 11:54 a.m. 0 comments

  *whimper*
Say it ain't so! "Namco to make Peanuts games."

Namco today announced that United Media has awarded Namco the interactive entertainment publishing rights to "Peanuts," the renowned comic strip created by Charles M. Schulz. The partnership allows Namco to create and publish games featuring "Peanuts" characters and properties, including Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Peppermint Patty, Linus and Pigpen for all current and upcoming game platforms through 2009.

We don't need a Charlie Brown videogame. We really don't, and I can't think of a reason why Namco would make a deal like this, aside from a) they really, REALLY like Peanuts, or b) they want to cash in on the license to make a quick buck. I'm praying that it's a), because that might mean we get a decent game out of this, but my gut says otherwise.  ¶ 11:18 a.m. 0 comments

  Yet more Papal comedy
It seems the Catolic church will remain a source of amusement. Following in a similar vein from the Sith-Pope pic from before, I saw this entry in the Uncyclopedia:

Benedict XVI, born Josef Rottweiler, is the brand-spankin'-new Pope. He reincarnated, Phoenix-like, from his previous form as Pope John Paul 2.0, in 2005. His first act as Pope was the ritual consumption of John Paul 2.0's body, thereby absorbing his secret powers. You do NOT want to piss this guy off.

This hoopy frood bears mucho resemblanci [Latin] to Darth Sidious of Star Wars fame. It was thought he would choose the name Palpatine as his papal "handle", but as the coincidence would have raised too many questions, he has chosen to stick with his original Terran name, Benedict XVI.

Understand, it's not that I'm trying to poke fun at religion, or the Pope, or Catholics. I just read this, and the laughter erupts unbidden from deep within the cockels. I mean, when you call someone a hoopy frood, the good times just come naturally!  ¶ 8:17 a.m. 1 comments

  Mine?
If you've played Settlers of Catan, you know why this must be owned. If not, then you my friend, are missing out on possibly the greatest board game ever conceived.

Combining the intricacy of miniatures with the amazingness of Settlers:

  ¶ 7:35 p.m. 0 comments

  I'm a bad person
Or at least, a somewhat politically incorrect one. I make no apology that I find this picture immensely funny:


  ¶ 7:28 p.m. 0 comments

  It's officially official now
The MPAA has no clue whatsoever of how idea law works.

[The MPAA's] latest move is to send out cease-and-desist letters to sites that host fan fiction -- not because those made up stories use characters, places and themes from real movies -- but because they use the (trademarked) MPAA movie rating system. That's right, if you happen to label your story as rated G, PG, PG-13, R or NC-17, you'd better watch out, the MPAA might come after you.

And people wonder why I say that the entertainment industry as it stands now is doomed.

DOOMED.  ¶ 7:04 p.m. 0 comments

  Been thinking
I saw a mention in Ars Gaming yesterday about gaming villains and/or protagonists. The thrust of the article is that we should have more games where the protagonist is not your scantily-clad Croft-ian female, or you typical marine grunt with guns the size of small city blocks. That Gordon Freeman is supposed to be a scientist, but he kicks ass like the Doom guy, yada yada yada. I read this and I thought to myself, "Wasn't there a game I saw on a 'Begs To Be Remade' list somewhere about a college kid and the Necronomicon? That had an unusual protagonist."

The shoe having been dropped, I followed this train of thought as it barrelled inexorably into its thought castle. See, the game I'm thinking of was a text adventure, the name of which I can't recall for the life of me. You played a college nerd, happily coding in the Comp. Sci. lab at 2AM or so finishing a project for the next day, and you accidentally run a script that invokes the Necronomicon. This in turn summons all kinds of demons, Old Ones and other nasties with names like Yog-Sotthoth and Shub Niggurath and they take over the University. You need to get them back where they came from, and hand in your project by the time it's due. If I got to design this one, (and if you know the name of the title I'm talking about, please let me know!) here's what I would do to make it stand out from the rest of the pack.

One, no guns or fighting. You are a NERD. You do not get to shoot up the demons! If you fired a gun, the kick would probably break your arm. If you were to face off against an Old One, it would probably rip you to bitses. Therefore, the game would be less an "action" title of the typical nature, and more a "run the fuck away" type with a bunch of puzzles or some stealth sequences. You would be able to pick things up, ala Half-Life 2, and you might be able to use a fire extinguisher to buy yourself a few seconds, but if a Shoggoth catches up to you, you're finished. Some of the death scenes could be some of the highlights of the game, so that even if you suck and can't escape, at least you get to see the demon do something cool in rending your little nerd body to bitses. (I can see the ad now: Wanted! Creative artsy-type to devise interesting ways of death, usually involving dismemberment or eating!)

Two, as little music as possible. Since you can't fight, you need to be alert, so sound is key. Hear something approaching? Get out. The music would only get in the way of this, and as such would only be blatantly used when you're absolutely safe, but need that atmospheric edge to make you think otherwise. (Incidentally, that safe bit would be a secret. Don't tell anyone!) To make up for the lack of a soundtrack, the ambient noises in the game would have to be top-notch. Note, however, that I said "blatantly used" up there. There could be very subtle musical bits hidden in the hum of the servers, for example. This would be understated to the point of being subliminal, however.

Three, I would bring back the insanity game mechanic from Eternal Darkness. That was so cool, it can't NOT be done again, and the madness angle inherent in the Cthulhu mythos (which was itself alluded to in ED) is a perfect match. Since I see this title being a PC game, you could do a whole bunch of computer-specific stuff to make you think you've gone crazy:

• Suddenly start clipping through walls
  
• Hit a blue screen of death mid-flight
  
• Snow crash, or maybe drop into debug mode
  
• Have modem sounds come through your speakers at inopportune times, such as during the roar of a monster
  
• etc...

This, in addition to the ones already touched on, like having ghost monsters attack you, or walking into a room and having it be upside down. If you've played Eternal Darkness, you know about some of the freaky auditory/visual hallucinatory stuff it pulls on you.

Four, the majority of the puzzles would revolve around hacking, and I mean REAL hacking. Using Linux. None of this made-up OS crap we always see. You would get to use grep and cat and vi and all those cool tools. This doesn't necessarily mean that you would need to know how to hack to play the game, however. The extra *nix angle would largely be a bonus, with the big story-driving hacks done through perl scripts or the like that you get from friends across the internet, and essentially functioning like thinly-disguised keycards from gaming days of yore. The biggest bits would be social hacking, in which you use phone calls to try and get passwords and such from key personnel like the security group. Having those, you could then ssh over and run the security camera routines, for example, to keep an eye on the monsters stalking the halls. This could be done through a dialogue minigame, where the idea is not only to ask the right questions, but also to keep your cool and sound convincing--something that would be difficult or easy, depending on how close you are to getting eaten.

Five, you have limited time. I mentioned before you have to get your project handed in on time, but this would need to be extended throughout the game. You could have a "time left" bar, for example, that represents your brain's estimate of how long you have until the monsters get through your latest roadblock. Furthermore, you could be wrong, and think you have 10 seconds left when you hear the Mind Devourer shatter the bar you put across the door. This could even be extended more, and make this perceived time variable depending on adrenaline or caffeine intake. Drink more coffee, and you feel you can move faster; the clock ticks slower, but is it because you're moving faster, or just think you are? Also, some parts of the game could be done differently, depending if you have more time or less. Say you're in the Chem lab, and have been doing Ok so far, so maybe you have time to consult a textbook and make some makeshift explosive or otherwise-nasty chemicals. Maybe you're stuck for time and can't do that, so you have to fabricate a less-trustworthy trap using broken glassware.

So those are five things there that I would want to include. Getting something like this off the ground would be something else though. I would need some pretty good art direction to make convincing monsters, and some good texturers and modellers to make them. The level design would be more or less straightforward, since a college/university campus has most of the elements already needed: windy corridors, locked doors, labs, open areas, etc. As far as technical specs go, I see this one using Source power. The physics would probably be a big help for providing the open-ended puzzles that would be needed, as well as the graphical prowess to make for some creepy baddies. Clever voice-acting would also be a requisite, since the phone dialogues would be somewhat prominent, and you would need someone capable of doing the range of cool and collected to frightened and anxious. Cool internal monologue bits would be mandatory.

So. I would play this game, but then again, I'm me. Anyone else?  ¶ 8:01 a.m. 0 comments

  I should be coding
Really, I should. My coding mojo is temporarily incapacitated, however, likely due to the massive hit of enchilada I had for lunch. Until it recovers, I'll talk about videogames, or rather one of them. I tried playing God of War this weekend, and for the first 20 minutes or so, it kicked so many different types of asses.

The first level alone blew me away. You start on a rickety, rather broken boat in the middle of a rainstorm, and it looks just terrific. Rain effects, water pooling on the deck, the smash and swell of the waves; all just unbelievable. Also, the game starts out and only treats you like a minimal simpleton. No tutorial levels here, only a quick heads-up on what each button does as you might use it. Everything else is up to you, which I find refreshing.

Then you meet the hydra head, and the game turns you on your ear and does a Clive-Owen-in-Sin-City-esque "Don't piss me off, or I'll mess you up." The first mini-boss--not a full boss, but a challenge only slightly higher than your average baddie--is cool enough to be almost a final boss of a level of another game. You face off with the hydra head in the interior of the boat, and it is SO COOL. The hydra has scales, looking all slick and black-green, and thrashes about all monster-like. Then you start beating the hell out of it and are introduced to just how kickass your character is. Within a minute or two of laying the smackdown, you start the mini-game and proceed to stick your rope-hook-blade things that you have into it's cheek and smash it back and forth into the walls of the corridor. When this happened I think I just sat back in my chair and exhaled in appreciation of how amazing the thing I just did was.

That's the mini-boss, mind you. The final boss of the first level was cool enough to be the boss of a game in it's own right: a multi-stage, long battle against THREE of these hydra heads, the end of which results in you shish-kabobbing the thing on the mast of the ship you're fighting on. Like I said, the first level of this game blew me right away, although when they say it's not for kiddies, they definitely mean it. The guy you play is badass, alright, but he's more than a little bit of an asshole.

I am so buying this title this weekend, since the rental didn't take and I must play more. When I say the rental didn't take, I speak of an increasingly-common occurance with my PS2. It's old, probably first generation, and I purchased it second-hand from the brother of a friend, and I'm pretty sure he bought it second-hand. So we're talking three, maybe four steps away from "new", and probably many years old as well, and it shows. I have to cross my fingers to get through a cutscene now, in the hopes that it doesn't lock up and die a stuttering, skipping death, getting hung up on a nigh-invisible flaw in the pristine surface of the disc. When I was playing Katamari Damacy, I had to cross my fingers on nearly EVERY LEVEL, or the audio would bork itself and I wouldn't be able to play anymore. On a new copy of the game, no less! Fortunately, KD is the exception to the rule. Most rental game skippages can be chalked up to minor nicks and scratches on the surface of the disc, and new games tend not to have those and play fine for the most part.

It's enough to anger me somewhat, and alas, I am left with but a few options. Ok, one, really, which is to buy a new PS2. My warranty being non-existent, I could possibly take it to a PS2 chop-shop and see if it could be fixed on the sly, but I have my doubts about that. Besides, it would probably cost almost as much as a new Ps2 anyways, the new slim representative of which is darn attractive. I would love to get me one of those DVD-case sized suckers, but I just bought my PSP and I just can't justify the purcase of a console I already own after getting Becca. Even with my money having no meaning to me, the number of dollar-bucks that would pass through my hands is enough to make me say "whoa there." Any suggestions on how to fix my game machine would be appreciated, but anything more than "shaking" or "percussive maintenance" is probably out of my reach in terms of electronics repair skills. Feel free though.

So. New mission: get new copy of God of War. Play game. Talk about how great it is. Also, not to forget why I avoid renting anything on an optical media.*

Sounds good to me.
--------------------------
* Why can't they make a rent-save DVD format? Why? Why can't it be like VHS? VHS was an amazing rental media. Perfectly suited to distribution for the masses! See, with CDs, I have less of a problem, since a) I usually use my computer to read them, and my PC is usually good enough to see past all the scratches and such to get to the rippable music, and then there's no more problem (apart from HD failure, but that's another story) and b) they aren't the basis for a big industry involving lending them out to lots and lots of people. DVDs are for movies though, and get rented often to people who could care less about how said DVD gets treated. The way I see it, DVDs are intended for owning, like CDs, and I think it's a shame that the market just surged forward to adopt them as standard fare. I see VHS tapes as being far more suitable to renting--they're built like tanks, or IBM monitors. You have to try to hurt a VHS tape; casual mistreatment won't do it alone. (They're kind of like vampires that way.) DVDs are the opposite, in that you need to make the effort to make sure they stay in good shape. I... I... I think I've kind of lost the punch of my argument. The written equivalent to just going on a tirade and now I'm stopping for breath. At any rate, I have my own solution to this: I just buy my DVDs rather than rent them. Costly, but it works. Also, it's less dorky than DVD caddies, which would have been my other solution.  ¶ 1:27 p.m. 0 comments

  Mo' moozik!
TUNES! Also, I am thinking I will post something longer than a sentence or two at some point.

Update: I guess there was a LibSyn bug or something, but if you tried to get the mp3 and it wasn't there, well... it is now. Yeah.  ¶ 7:01 p.m. 0 comments

  The Whoreboat.
It's not what you think.  ¶ 6:19 p.m. 0 comments

  Magical Adventures In Space
I thought MAiS was going to suck. Really, I did. When Wigu ended, I was looking forward to WIGU-TV, and when Jeff Rowland switched over to being about Topato and Sheriff Pony and Princess Dongle, I was a little disappointed. He has since got me just as crazy over Magical Adventures as I was about Wigu and am about Overcompensating. So you should be reading this comic because it's just awesome, and is by a very strange mad genius of a cartoonist.

Recently I saw Sin City. It was The Bomb, and kicks everyone's ass, even Batmans. (Seriously, Marv vs. Batman would be an amazing fight to watch.) Now, Rowland has now done the inevitable Sin City parody:



This is from a few days ago. Read the rest; it just gets so much better.   ¶ 11:23 p.m. 0 comments

  Vera Brosgol
First, go read Return to Sender so's you know who I'm talking about. Ms. Brosgol
happens to be a darn fine artist, who's done stuff for a bunch of cool people like Flight. I happen to adore her work, and patiently await the next bit of RTS like a good little fan. This has not happened in a long time, mostly due to her doing learning-stuff at some animation school dealy thing.

However! She has now released a Thing! It is called Snow-bo and can be gotten through the ever-wonderful BitTorrent and it rules so very much. So very, very much. If I were someone else, I'd be dispensing biscuits.  ¶ 7:06 p.m. 0 comments

  In 12 years
When this kid grows up, and I'm rich, he's going to be my pilot.

I came across this video of Kyle Stacy today while broadsnatching. Kyle is nothing short of an aerobatics prodigy with his radio controlled helicopter. This 9 year old kid makes his machine defy gravity in a way I didn't know was possible. Airwolf has nothing on Kyle's "Raptor 50". Just amazing.

Movie link.  ¶ 6:29 p.m. 0 comments

  So really, anyone but the Tories.
I did this on a whim, since I can't really vote in the British election.

Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Liberal Democrat

Your actual outcome:

	Labour 18
Conservative -38
	Liberal Democrat 47
	UK Independence Party 2
	Green 22

You should vote: Liberal Democrat

The LibDems take a strong stand against tax cuts and a strong one in favour of public services: they would make long-term residential care for the elderly free across the UK, and scrap university tuition fees. They are in favour of a ban on smoking in public places, but would relax laws on cannabis. They propose to change vehicle taxation to be based on usage rather than ownership.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

  ¶ 5:25 p.m. 0 comments

  Of all the times not to live in NYC
Doug Rushkoff is a pretty cool guy with some neat ideas. He's running a seminar at NYU about technology and persuasion.

How do websites guide users toward the 'buy' button? How are viral campaigns launched? How do Powerpoint and Microsoft 'spell-check' influence our thought patterns? How do marketers exploit information to craft persuasive messaging? How does the use of manipulative communications techniques change the quality of the media landscape? How do today's online selling techniques fit into a history of salesmanship and marketing? How do wireless companies hope to get ads on our cell phones? Is the interactive space more or less conducive to manipulative communications?

Seriously, this course looks so freaking awesome. I'd ask my university to run one like it, but with the rules for electives in my engineering program, it would probably get turned down because critical thinking is a skill. (Seriously, if a program teaches a specific skill, like dance or painting, we can't take it as an elective. Languages are ok though. Go figure. Contrast this with the science programs, where they check to see if the course is a Faculty of Arts one; if it is, you're gold. My dislike for engineering associations and societies is ever-growing.)  ¶ 5:15 p.m. 1 comments

  DO. NOT.
Seriously, Wisconsin, if you decide to declare war on cats, you will lose any chance of ever being my friend. I don't care about your cows, or your cheese, or your precious songbirds or anything else you have. Turning all your yahoos loose to terrorize cats is fucked up, and all you're going to get is a bunch of wounded-but-not-killed, really pissed off felines ready to maul whoever approaches them. I'm not even going to go into the whole accidental gunshot wound angle.

Stupid shit like this in the news, even if it's just speculation, just ruins my day right good and proper.  ¶ 1:15 p.m. 0 comments

  Somebody help me please
I can't tell if this is a joke or not. Neither can John Rogers, and if it is real, and he goes through with his promise to be the next Denis Leary revolutionary, then I am so following him, if only because Denis Leary was awesome in Demolition Man. The script must have had a blank page of text in place of his dialogue where it says to take the muzzle off and let him rant and go nuts, and well, be Denis Leary for a few minutes. I don't even remember his character's name, whereas Snipe's character, Simon Phoenix comes to mind. Furthermore, I believe Snipes spent most of the movie with an orange t-shirt and goofy overalls, later wearing a torn up tire, whereas Leary wore a burlap sack tailored to look like a coat. They must have blown the costuming budget at Canadian Tire or something.

But I digress, and to get back on topic: America, We Stand As One - joke?  ¶ 7:55 p.m. 0 comments

  Another week...
...another podcast. New sounds for the bored.  ¶ 7:43 p.m. 0 comments

  Calling all hipsters!
Do you habitually wear slightly-preppy jackets with rumpled hair and a messenger bag? Do you scorn the musical tastes of everyone who doesn't talk about the same obscure bands you do? If you said yes, or even gave a slight nod while reading this, then you need the Indie Tits. It's funny stuff, assuming you can guess the punchline, but of course if you can't, you're a total dweeb that listens to that crap on the radio.

(It's about tits, not boobies. Or breasts.)  ¶ 7:16 p.m. 0 comments

  BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL!
The Science Guy is back!

The Andy Kaufman of the science world is back. Bill Nye, the rubber-faced engineer whose television series for kids was equal parts lesson and stand-up comedy, returns to the small screen April 3. Whereas Bill Nye the Science Guy introduced elementary scientific concepts to elementary school viewers, The Eyes of Nye takes on hard-hitting adult topics like addiction, cloning, and climate change. The show airs on local public television stations (www.eyesofnye.org). But Nye's more serious avocation hasn't compromised his zany edge.

I'm surprised I'm as excited as I am about this. Bill Nye's show was pretty darn good when I was in elementary school and junior high, and despite the fact that I knew most of the stuff being shown, I still managed to get something out of the show. I'm hoping that this new Eyes of Nye will offer more of the same. The interview above is pretty good, if short. I happen to really like the following quote from Bill, on how can he make science funny:

How can you not make [science] funny? Humor is everywhere, in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.

I wholeheartedly agree. I don't believe that there's anything so tragic that you can't have a laugh about it at some time or another. It might take a while to find the humor in some of the doozies, but it's there.

(Incidentally, doesn't the BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! from the Bill Nye The Science Guy theme song remind you of a porn soundtrack? "Get ready ladies, it's the Scientist of LOOOOOVE! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! Oh yeah!")  ¶ 3:24 p.m. 0 comments

  If you think you ever remotely had a childhood...
Read this page: 25 of the author's best memories about Sesame Street. I don't remember a lot of these, since I'm pretty sure they pre-date me, but some of them hit nerves: the Don't Eat The Pictures one, Ernie's stupid jokes, the martians. It gets all the really big Sesame Street-specific bits, but on of my personal favorite SS-related memories was way bigger in scope: the Muppet Christmas Special.

In short: Take every muppet that ever hit the TV screen. Make holiday special. I think the basic plot arc is that Fozzy Bear, from the Muppet Show, ends up going to his mom's for Christmas, and was only planning on coming with a few people like Kermit and Miss Piggy, but due to weather and various other circumstances, the entire Muppet cast of Sesame Street and the Muppet Show wind up visiting. Moreover, the house they're in end's up being Doc's house, resulting in the Fraggles showing up! Now that I think about it, this is probably the first major crossover event I ever experienced, and it was so awesome. From the Swedish Chef vs. Big Bird to Grover and the Snowman's Vaudeville routine, the whole show just plain ruled. It's really unfortunate that a lot of the archives for these shows have been lost or are otherwise unaccessible. Re-releasing them on DVD would be really something.

I can't speak for the Street now, (apparantly Elmo is now something like the star of the show, for some reason) but when I was a kid, Sesame Street and the Muppets were an institution. I don't think it's possible for a kid NOT to have memories of this show, and therefore I propose that anyone who hasn't, is an android, body-snatcher, invader from the Qth dimension, or y'know, not from North America. Whichever.  ¶ 11:40 a.m. 0 comments

  HELL yes.
Thanks to Pete over at Drug WarRant, I now pass along the following excellent article, And Marijuana For All. This one's pretty darn solid reading, assuming of course, that you consider rational though to be good. I highly recommend reading the whole thing, and I urge you to pass it on to anyone who'll listen.

From my perspective, the marijuana issue is a no-brainer. There are probably more Canadians who smoke pot than play hockey. People have been doing this for more than 10,000 years.

No one has ever died from pot, while a number of approved pharmaceuticals have been pulled off the market this year for causing cardiac arrest or suicidal ideation. Growing pot is perfectly safe, but our harsh, prohibitionist approach creates an unregulated black market in which there is little incentive to comply with safety code standards.

Every moral panic is built on a few real tragedies. There have been grow op fires, and I guess some homes are overrun with mould. Some people have bad experiences smoking pot. But the occasional tragedy does not constitute a social problem, and if the prohibitionists were right, one would expect to find problems of epidemic proportions when there are millions of users and thousands of grow rooms in this great country. Emphasis added

It goes on to discuss six reasons, and they're pretty big ones, as to why the fight against marijuana is bogus.

I don't believe in the War on Drugs, and I don't believe anyone else should either. Maybe it's the engineer in me, but when you keep trying to solve a problem with a given tactic, and it consistently fails to solve it, or creates more problems than it fixes, you step back and try something else. Why we allow the people we elect to govern the country to say otherwise is beyond me.

Again, please read the article and send it on. I'll get down off my soapbox now.  ¶ 8:39 a.m. 0 comments

  OMG
I don't know about you, but this scares the shit out of me:



  ¶ 12:13 a.m. 0 comments

  Again, an open letter to the internet
A funny thing happened when I was playing Lumines recently. See, when you go to the games menu in the PSP firmware, there's an option to load games from the memory card. This gets me thinking: what games are they talking about? Will we be getting demos or something from Sony? Better yet: will we be able to make our own games? Then it clicked: what if one could run an emulator on the PSP?

The ingredients are all there. We have the ability to store the emulator on the memory card as a "game", as well as the ability to store ROMs. All that's needed is for someone to code up an emulator. Therefore, I ask, internet? You're good at this kind of thing. Do run along and get it done.  ¶ 8:10 a.m. 0 comments

  I LOVE MY PSP

That statement is such that I need to state it in all caps. What you see above, is a picture of me holding Becca, whilst she is currently browsing this here site, scrolled to my prior posting of a picture of me holding Becca. Way too unbelievably goddamn cool for words. As for the browsing, it is functional--really, really slow, but functional. I am, however, using some guy's computer somwhere on the internet as a DNS server, something that no doubt many, many, MANY people are also doing. Poor guy's ISP must be pissed. I expect once I get my router to do the same trick, I'll get better speeds.   ¶ 7:36 p.m. 0 comments

  Words fail me.
North Carolina cities and other government agencies are pursuing the authority to sue citizens who ask to see public records.

Lawyers for local governments and the University of North Carolina are talking about pushing for a new state law allowing pre-emptive lawsuits against citizens, news organizations and private companies to clarify the law when there is a dispute about providing records or opening meetings.

On another front, the city of Burlington is appealing a ruling last year by the state Court of Appeals that said the government can't take people to court to try to block their access to records or meetings.

Citizens can sue the government over records, the court said, but not the reverse. The state Supreme Court takes up that case next month and is expected to settle the issue.

This is rather chilling. It's only a step and a hop from suing people for asking questions to arresting them. What gets me most is this quote:

"We need to have open government," [Ellis Hankins, Executive Director of North Carolina's League of Municipalities] said. "But governments need to operate. ..."

Implying that the continued operation of government is more important than having a transparent system accountable to its electorate is not, in my mind, a good thing. Government, and just about anything, really, need to continually re-assess whether or not it's doing the right thing, whether that be governing, or running a company, etc. Preserving the status quo is fine, but the world changes and policies can slip and shift around to do things they were not originally intended to do. The best way to prevent this is to let as many eyes as possible take a look and see what's going on--total transparency is only ever a good thing as far as I see it.

I hope this gets more news coverage so that the people of North Carolina can decide whether they want to live in a state where asking questions about the folks you elect can get you sued.  ¶ 11:42 a.m. 0 comments

  New music!
Episode Two is out on the 'cast. Good stuff for your ears!  ¶ 3:11 p.m. 0 comments

  This is why April 1st ROCKS.
April Fool's Day was pretty cool already, but on the internet, it's so much better. It's like a dose of mescaline in my morning coffee or something. I'm reading that Bloglines has offered KLINGON as a translation option. Then, turns out Google's in the soft-drink business now, which I guess will go well on their moon base. If Coyote shows up to guide me on a spirit-trek, though, I'm bailing. I don't know if I could handle that one.  ¶ 8:30 a.m. 0 comments

  On Becca
The PSP is one of the nicest little electronic gizmos I have ever held. The only adjective I can think of to describe her is "sexy", with possibly "svelte" as a distant second. When she first lights up her panoramic screen, the first and only think you can do is just stare. Stare, and resist the urge to just touch it. This screen is that nice.

Lumines, apparantly pronounced "lew-mih-nuss"* and not "lew-mines", is Tetris on E. Playing it, you can almost simultaneously hear the ravers saying "You got Tetris in my techno!", whilst the puzzlers are yelling "You got techno in my Tetris!" right back, like some juvenile quasi-Reeses PBC addicts. Lumines has all the appearance of being just a cheap, fluorescent, glittery knock-off of that great Russian puzzle institution, but let me assure you, it is not. If you get a PSP, you must get Lumines.

Wipeout Pure, in contrast, is not quite the next leap up from its predecessor like Lumines is, and is rather more like a proper revisiting to the glory days of yore. I haven't played any of the Wipeouts between the first and this one, but from what I've heard, they were less than stellar. This new one feels just like the first one though, and since the internet agrees with me, I feel my statement at the start of this paragraph is justified. Because really, how can you go wrong when the majority of the internet is on your side?

As far as video goes, while the odds of my watching Spider-man 2 in its entirety on a portable are slim and none, I'm still impressed with how well it works. The screen is sharp and bright, and while small, is still large enough to pull you into it enough to ignore pesky, lesser things not within the borders of that glorious display. The sound also caught me off-guard. I was expecting the tinny spatterings of the Game Boys of days gone by--imagine my surprise when I heard audio coming out of Becca!

I have not tried the wireless yet, because my home network uses WPA rather than WEP. This will be rectified immediately, and I will also take the first opportunity to start trying out the PSP9 software that seems to be popular these days. I don't have a USB cable or a large enough memory card yet though, so there's really no rush.

Now, I should really try and do some work. And y'know, NOT play Wipeout. Or Lumines. Or look forward to seeing Sin City tonight, despite the metric truckload of ass A Dame To Kill For kicked when I read it last night.

Sigh.

This day is going to take forever.

---------------
* Or maybe even "luminous"...  ¶ 8:17 a.m. 0 comments