Superman is a dick.
In the words of Griff, "like an ass." (BLAST! That link broke. Hopefully it will come back, but in the meantime, I posted some stuff over here to further state the case.) ASS.

Seriously, I really wonder what DC was smoking back in the 60s, because I think I want some. These are messed up. I suppose they're only the logical conclusion when you spin off every single secondary character in the comics pantheon into their own series, but still. Very twisted. I can't believe how many times Supes kills Lois!

To follow the bouncing segue, (I realize there isn't one. Use your imagination.) I was listening to Velvet Revolver (VR = Guns 'n' Roses - Axl Rose + Stone Temple Pilots - (Pilots not named Scott Weiland)) and thinking of the similarities between them and Audioslave (AS = Rage Against the Machine - Zack De La Rocha + Soundgarden - (Soundgardeners not named Chris Cornell)). I think the math bits there should make the parallels obvious; they're all bands with prominent singers who ditched the front man and found another singer already detached and floating around the entertainment ether. Anyways, what other bands would make for good arithmetic if you busted them up like Lego bricks? I came up with:

U2 - Bono + The Police - (Policemen not named Sting)
Smashing Pumpkins - Billy Corgan + Pearl Jam - (Jammers not named Eddie Vedder)
Metallica - James Hetfield + No Doubt - (Doubters not named Gwen Stefani)
Pink Floyd - Roger Waters + Primus - (Members of Primus not named Les Claypool)

Submit your own! It's fun like math!  ¶ 7:46 p.m.