Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Worlds of Warcraft Angers Calculon
In hindsight, this post should be linked up the wazoo. Good thing I'm both at work and lazy. Anyways...
WoW is better than God. I've heard from so many sources that this game is the Second Coming of the Electric Interw3b Jesus and contains 20X6 orgasms per second while playing. Also, it buys you a new BMW when you install it.
Alright maybe not, but it is still supposed to be damn fine. My beef is not with the game, but rather the distribution that surrounds it, or rather the lack thereof. Every EB I've been to has been sold out. Amazon.ca only has "used" copies being sold by some jackhole in PEI for a hundred and eighty dollars a pop. EBGames.com is on back-order. This game is rarer than the elusive three-ringed tanuki of Northern Iowa, and those only show up on the 3rd Friday the Thirteenth of an odd-numbered leap year when Saturn is in the hemisphere of Orion, and we wants it!
Why should this be? Seriously, I can't think of a single reason why you should have to go to the store to buy this game. Half-Life 2 could be had digitally, why not Worlds?
"But wait," you say. "Half-Life 2 came out using that villainous Steam service, where you have to log in with Valve and can only play when they say!"
Really. You don't say. That sounds remarkably like every other MMORPG ever conceived. In fact, even when you do have a physical copy of the game on CD, DVD or vinyl, as is your preference, you still need to download all the updates and patches released since launch, of which I am certain there are many. Sure, maybe you don't want to have to download the whole game, but then again, that didn't stop Valve from releasing their game into stores in a shiny box. (Sure, you could argue that they were forced into that one, but that's irrelevant.)
Why, Blizzard, WHY?! You are such an awesome company. If you were a woman, I would have you carry my babies. Please, please, PLEASE, offer WoW as an all-digital release. Maybe even toss in one of those 7-day trial memberships, and gain the possibility of overtaking Eversmack in the MMORPG realm. (Yes, I'm aware this is remote. Hyperbole, people!) In the utmost sincerity on my part, you are holding back progress. Please stop, if not for me, than for... well, me. I haven't ranted about this to anyone else yet, but if the world knew, it would be on my side! (Based on preliminary market research provided by The Top Of My Head, Inc.)
As it stands, now I am thinking of turning back to my last MMORPG love affair, City of Heroes. See, I got a copy of Crisis on Infinite Earths for Christmas, and it reached into me. It found the little heartstring labelled "Superheroes Are Freaking Awesome" and just started plucking away, and now I keep thinking about all the ridiculously cool stuff in Paragon City that I never did. No costume changes, no power swap quests. I don't think I even found the right archetype for me!
So, as soon as I have got my computer going again, (I am getting ready for the Great Purge presently) I am going back to Paragon City. For hero concepts, I did think of a couple, but I decided that I didn't get to play as Pianoforte enough. Therefore, the black leather-clad, fedora-wearing crimefighter will make a comeback, this time not as a gravity controller, as awesome as that was, but as a scrapper with super-reflexes and Netherworld powers. Still working out new backstory ideas and power sets, but she'll be awesome, I tells ya! Awesome!
To wrap things up, I just want to mention that my limited-edition, autographed gel case-wrapped Fancy Ultra-Fresh album by Freezepop arrived yesterday, and it's really good. The majority of the aural gold is in the first four tracks, but the rest are nice poppy synth, just like the rest of the tracks Liz, Sean (the other one) and the Duke have put out. We like it, yes we do.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have about fifteen to twenty minutes more work to suffer through. ¶ 2:04 p.m.
In hindsight, this post should be linked up the wazoo. Good thing I'm both at work and lazy. Anyways...
WoW is better than God. I've heard from so many sources that this game is the Second Coming of the Electric Interw3b Jesus and contains 20X6 orgasms per second while playing. Also, it buys you a new BMW when you install it.
Alright maybe not, but it is still supposed to be damn fine. My beef is not with the game, but rather the distribution that surrounds it, or rather the lack thereof. Every EB I've been to has been sold out. Amazon.ca only has "used" copies being sold by some jackhole in PEI for a hundred and eighty dollars a pop. EBGames.com is on back-order. This game is rarer than the elusive three-ringed tanuki of Northern Iowa, and those only show up on the 3rd Friday the Thirteenth of an odd-numbered leap year when Saturn is in the hemisphere of Orion, and we wants it!
Why should this be? Seriously, I can't think of a single reason why you should have to go to the store to buy this game. Half-Life 2 could be had digitally, why not Worlds?
"But wait," you say. "Half-Life 2 came out using that villainous Steam service, where you have to log in with Valve and can only play when they say!"
Really. You don't say. That sounds remarkably like every other MMORPG ever conceived. In fact, even when you do have a physical copy of the game on CD, DVD or vinyl, as is your preference, you still need to download all the updates and patches released since launch, of which I am certain there are many. Sure, maybe you don't want to have to download the whole game, but then again, that didn't stop Valve from releasing their game into stores in a shiny box. (Sure, you could argue that they were forced into that one, but that's irrelevant.)
Why, Blizzard, WHY?! You are such an awesome company. If you were a woman, I would have you carry my babies. Please, please, PLEASE, offer WoW as an all-digital release. Maybe even toss in one of those 7-day trial memberships, and gain the possibility of overtaking Eversmack in the MMORPG realm. (Yes, I'm aware this is remote. Hyperbole, people!) In the utmost sincerity on my part, you are holding back progress. Please stop, if not for me, than for... well, me. I haven't ranted about this to anyone else yet, but if the world knew, it would be on my side! (Based on preliminary market research provided by The Top Of My Head, Inc.)
As it stands, now I am thinking of turning back to my last MMORPG love affair, City of Heroes. See, I got a copy of Crisis on Infinite Earths for Christmas, and it reached into me. It found the little heartstring labelled "Superheroes Are Freaking Awesome" and just started plucking away, and now I keep thinking about all the ridiculously cool stuff in Paragon City that I never did. No costume changes, no power swap quests. I don't think I even found the right archetype for me!
So, as soon as I have got my computer going again, (I am getting ready for the Great Purge presently) I am going back to Paragon City. For hero concepts, I did think of a couple, but I decided that I didn't get to play as Pianoforte enough. Therefore, the black leather-clad, fedora-wearing crimefighter will make a comeback, this time not as a gravity controller, as awesome as that was, but as a scrapper with super-reflexes and Netherworld powers. Still working out new backstory ideas and power sets, but she'll be awesome, I tells ya! Awesome!
To wrap things up, I just want to mention that my limited-edition, autographed gel case-wrapped Fancy Ultra-Fresh album by Freezepop arrived yesterday, and it's really good. The majority of the aural gold is in the first four tracks, but the rest are nice poppy synth, just like the rest of the tracks Liz, Sean (the other one) and the Duke have put out. We like it, yes we do.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have about fifteen to twenty minutes more work to suffer through. ¶ 2:04 p.m.
