Monday, March 08, 2004
Blork blork blork
Not-so-hypothetical situation here. I'm leaving work, and I look towards the bus stop to see if I've missed my bus. The fact that there's a bus there pulling away from the stop indicates that I have. I say "Crap" and start heading over to the stop to wait. On my way there, I notice 3 things. 1, that there is a bus approaching my stop. 2, that it is one that I could take home. 3, by "approaching", I really mean that it is stopped at the red light just before the stop. I say "Crap" and start hauling ass across the road. Now, since I'm not Ontarian, I actually looked before running across the road, and much to my dismay there were cars coming and threatening to squish me flat. I don't want this, and I don't want to even risk it, seeing as how I'm not from Ontario, so I decide to take the tunnel. Somebody who is probably the Government decided that there should be a tunnel going under the road right outside my building so as to avoid cars. Very few people use it, as risking death is more fun, but I am one of those few, so I start dashing down the stairs and under the road. Halfway through the tunnel I am hit by a moment of clarity. It has not been of the best weather lately, so the stairs at the other end of the tunnel are likely to be wet. If they are wet, it is also likely that they could be icy, since we got a bit of snow last night. (It was about a centimeter or two (less than an inch for those who are in the remedial measuring class) so I'm not sure why I saw a snowplough going down the road this morning... Maybe there's people in Ottawa who have snowploughs for cars.) If these stairs are wet/slick/icy, I am very likely to fall, given my precipitous speed at which I am moving so as to get to the bus in time. You see, the driver of this particular bus happened to be the uber-driver Crazy McPsychopants. That's not really his name, but he looks quite insane, and drives like he's from Quebec (I really think he ran a red light once, and he does rolling stops. To let people off.) so I have christened him Crazy McPsychopants in a Wigu-ian turn of events. My moment of clarity ends with myself running through the sub-road tunnel towards the Stairs of FOOM! (That was supposed to be DOOM! but my finger slipped and I decided to leave the typo and put this note in.) Now I keep my lunch in a plastic bag that I take the Tupper/Ziploc-ware home in, and in this same bag I put the thermos that I take my coffee to work in in the morning. As I dash up the stairs, the inevitable occurs and I slip. Now these are circular stairs that start on the left, so it is my right leg that slips. I fall towards the axis of the stairwell and get my hands out to break up my intimate encounter with the steps. As I do so, my lunch bag that contains my thermos swings around by the loop I hold it with. Anyone who has taken high school physics will know that this is centripetal motion (there's no such thing as centrifugal motion) and thus my thermos is now being whipped towards the stairs. This is bad. The slightest kink in a vacuum-thermos will create a cap in the delicate insulation of nothingness and cause a spot where heat will leak out in copious quantities. I know this because Tyler knows this. Or perhaps it was because my Dad was skiing and got hit by a chairlift while getting on and the thermos in his backpack got dented and that happened. Well, whichever. Regardless, I was fortunate enough this afternoon in that my thermos did not dent itself. Instead, in a stroke of luck, it hit the steps at an angle parallel to the stair itself, and got away with only a scuff on the side, near the base. Also, I caught the bus and got to go home. My point, is that there is no point. Do not try to understand, just know that I may or may not have wasted some of your time, and move on to the next paragraph.
In not-so-exciting news
If I don't post tomorrow, you can blame the snossages. Er, sausages. I had these pork sausages (with a baked potato) for supper tonight, and only after cooking them for 10-15 minutes and then devouring them did I notice that the package said to cook them for 20-25 minutes. Not so good, but they looked reasonably done and I was really hungry. I'm sure food poisoning isn't as bad as people say it is, right?
I'm doomed.
Well, I suppose it could be worse. Games could be under fire for glorifying drug use. Oh wait. That hasn't happened yet. Regardless of your opinions on drugs, this can only end badly for gaming's image. It's not bad enough that some people think games exist only as killing simulators, now people will think they're drug-trip simulators as well. I just hope the gameplay's all there so we at least have something decent to play while the flames fly.
Scary. Very scary. There's a guy who comes out to fence on Sundays with us who has the philosophy that "no matter what object you can imagine, there is someone who wants to have sex with it." I think this should be revised to "no matter what object you can imagine, and no matter how you could possibly have sex with it, somebody out there wants to do it."
The internet is already a dank, dark pit of morality. This only makes things darker. You see, internet dating isn't enough. Just finding single people just doesn't do it for people now, so they have personal services for adulterers. Some part of me really hopes that someone is enforcing those 10 commandments so that this "Ashley Madison" will burst into flames. It would be funny, in a "Wow, you can really appreciate the searing agony" way.
Work
I had a decent day at work today. I remained productive for more than an hour, I got a bunch of work done, I didn't fall asleep... all the hallmarks of a good day at the office. The only downside was that I declined the invitation to the networking session being held tomorrow. You might think that this is a stupid decision, since this would be where I could secure having a job for my next co-op term. I'm still not sure that that is incorrect. However, aside from being able to say that I'm a shadowy Government operative, there isn't anything all that glamourous about where I work. Couple that with the fact that I wouldn't mind taking some more jobs in the private sector, and my decision was (sort of) made. I was still himming and hawing about it, but it's too late now. I just hope that my luck for getting employment next year is as good as my luck for getting a job this summer. ¶ 5:48 p.m.
Not-so-hypothetical situation here. I'm leaving work, and I look towards the bus stop to see if I've missed my bus. The fact that there's a bus there pulling away from the stop indicates that I have. I say "Crap" and start heading over to the stop to wait. On my way there, I notice 3 things. 1, that there is a bus approaching my stop. 2, that it is one that I could take home. 3, by "approaching", I really mean that it is stopped at the red light just before the stop. I say "Crap" and start hauling ass across the road. Now, since I'm not Ontarian, I actually looked before running across the road, and much to my dismay there were cars coming and threatening to squish me flat. I don't want this, and I don't want to even risk it, seeing as how I'm not from Ontario, so I decide to take the tunnel. Somebody who is probably the Government decided that there should be a tunnel going under the road right outside my building so as to avoid cars. Very few people use it, as risking death is more fun, but I am one of those few, so I start dashing down the stairs and under the road. Halfway through the tunnel I am hit by a moment of clarity. It has not been of the best weather lately, so the stairs at the other end of the tunnel are likely to be wet. If they are wet, it is also likely that they could be icy, since we got a bit of snow last night. (It was about a centimeter or two (less than an inch for those who are in the remedial measuring class) so I'm not sure why I saw a snowplough going down the road this morning... Maybe there's people in Ottawa who have snowploughs for cars.) If these stairs are wet/slick/icy, I am very likely to fall, given my precipitous speed at which I am moving so as to get to the bus in time. You see, the driver of this particular bus happened to be the uber-driver Crazy McPsychopants. That's not really his name, but he looks quite insane, and drives like he's from Quebec (I really think he ran a red light once, and he does rolling stops. To let people off.) so I have christened him Crazy McPsychopants in a Wigu-ian turn of events. My moment of clarity ends with myself running through the sub-road tunnel towards the Stairs of FOOM! (That was supposed to be DOOM! but my finger slipped and I decided to leave the typo and put this note in.) Now I keep my lunch in a plastic bag that I take the Tupper/Ziploc-ware home in, and in this same bag I put the thermos that I take my coffee to work in in the morning. As I dash up the stairs, the inevitable occurs and I slip. Now these are circular stairs that start on the left, so it is my right leg that slips. I fall towards the axis of the stairwell and get my hands out to break up my intimate encounter with the steps. As I do so, my lunch bag that contains my thermos swings around by the loop I hold it with. Anyone who has taken high school physics will know that this is centripetal motion (there's no such thing as centrifugal motion) and thus my thermos is now being whipped towards the stairs. This is bad. The slightest kink in a vacuum-thermos will create a cap in the delicate insulation of nothingness and cause a spot where heat will leak out in copious quantities. I know this because Tyler knows this. Or perhaps it was because my Dad was skiing and got hit by a chairlift while getting on and the thermos in his backpack got dented and that happened. Well, whichever. Regardless, I was fortunate enough this afternoon in that my thermos did not dent itself. Instead, in a stroke of luck, it hit the steps at an angle parallel to the stair itself, and got away with only a scuff on the side, near the base. Also, I caught the bus and got to go home. My point, is that there is no point. Do not try to understand, just know that I may or may not have wasted some of your time, and move on to the next paragraph.
In not-so-exciting news
If I don't post tomorrow, you can blame the snossages. Er, sausages. I had these pork sausages (with a baked potato) for supper tonight, and only after cooking them for 10-15 minutes and then devouring them did I notice that the package said to cook them for 20-25 minutes. Not so good, but they looked reasonably done and I was really hungry. I'm sure food poisoning isn't as bad as people say it is, right?
I'm doomed.
Well, I suppose it could be worse. Games could be under fire for glorifying drug use. Oh wait. That hasn't happened yet. Regardless of your opinions on drugs, this can only end badly for gaming's image. It's not bad enough that some people think games exist only as killing simulators, now people will think they're drug-trip simulators as well. I just hope the gameplay's all there so we at least have something decent to play while the flames fly.
Scary. Very scary. There's a guy who comes out to fence on Sundays with us who has the philosophy that "no matter what object you can imagine, there is someone who wants to have sex with it." I think this should be revised to "no matter what object you can imagine, and no matter how you could possibly have sex with it, somebody out there wants to do it."
The internet is already a dank, dark pit of morality. This only makes things darker. You see, internet dating isn't enough. Just finding single people just doesn't do it for people now, so they have personal services for adulterers. Some part of me really hopes that someone is enforcing those 10 commandments so that this "Ashley Madison" will burst into flames. It would be funny, in a "Wow, you can really appreciate the searing agony" way.
Work
I had a decent day at work today. I remained productive for more than an hour, I got a bunch of work done, I didn't fall asleep... all the hallmarks of a good day at the office. The only downside was that I declined the invitation to the networking session being held tomorrow. You might think that this is a stupid decision, since this would be where I could secure having a job for my next co-op term. I'm still not sure that that is incorrect. However, aside from being able to say that I'm a shadowy Government operative, there isn't anything all that glamourous about where I work. Couple that with the fact that I wouldn't mind taking some more jobs in the private sector, and my decision was (sort of) made. I was still himming and hawing about it, but it's too late now. I just hope that my luck for getting employment next year is as good as my luck for getting a job this summer. ¶ 5:48 p.m.
