As we join our heroes...
Setting off down the path of internet randomosity is a little like planning a road trip. You start with your first destination, and the rest of the trip is decided as you go, from the top of your head. The difficult bit is deciding where to go first. Do I talk about the stew I made? Do I bring up the latest member of our solar system? Or do I try and address something else completely different?

I just don't know.

I guess one is as good as the other, from the perspective that any one might get me where I need to go. It doesn't matter much, since I don't know where I should be right now. It occurs to me that this whole posting so far is starting to reek of Adaptation. You know, the whole writing about not being able to write? Real Life almost did that once, and one of the Gregs tried to smack the other Greg. I can't remember if it was the cartoonist smacking the fictional Greg, or the other way around, so unless you go read the archives, it will remain a mystery. What will also remain a mystery is the status of my mail.

I hate Canada Post
They are stealing my mail. I'm sure of it, like I'm sure that a tin-foil hat will stop mind rays. It just works that way. See, when I accepted my new job offer, RIM said they would send me an offer package. Last Monday I was told it had shipped. This Monday rolls around and apparantly another one is being sent. Something about a slight change of details regarding relocation or something. Not that I'd know about what the change was from, since I haven't gotten the first package yet. It's been a week! It's not like letters don't fit in my mailbox, since... y'know... they do. I've seen it done. Also MIA are my movies, and those are the ones I deem more important, since I can't keep asking Zip to send me more. I'm supposed to be in possession of Boogie Nights, Ghost Dog and Last Man Standing right now. Boogie Nights alone has been missing for almost a full week now, and I've already told Zip to send me the next one and consider it lost. I really don't want to do that again for the other two movies. Hence, I will be calling Canada Post in the near future. I'm thinking once tonight to find out what their hours are, since their "support" line probably isn't available 24-7. Then I'll call tomorrow at work when I'm at my snarliest, probably sometime in the morning. I might even bring in one of the letters I got for the previous tenant that seem to arrive with more frequency than my own mail. Perhaps the postal service is simply bitter about e-mail and the Internet, robbing them of their correspondence. I mean, yes a letter can send love, but e-mail can send a fascimile of love back and forth about eleventy-thouzillion times before the real deal arrives. Also, I am aware that that is not a number. I made it up just now, so please don't email me about it. Or do, since I can't stop you anyways, and it would be fun to reply to, especially if I don't know who you are.

So yeah. Running, jumping, climbing trees, putting on makeup while you're up there
If you don't get the reference there, it's from Eddie Izzard, one of the more hysterical stand-up comedians out there. He's got a rather crazy thing going on about him, similar to some of Denis Leary's more lunatic stuff. Another great comic similar to Leary is Bill Hicks, only Bill is similar in the "very very very very very very angry explody humor" that Denis does so well. We get to laugh at their frustrations as they vent to the point of almost exploding. I'm still trying to find a recording of Bill Hicks so's I can hear more than just the snippets on Kontraband. But look at me! I'm all off topic! (There was one to begin with, somewhere. Trust me.)

I hate RealPlayer. It sucks ballsack. This guy agrees with me. In it's stead, and in fact in the stead of a great many video players, I use this happy little codec pack here. It, in direct contrast to RealPlayer, does not suck ballsack, and in fact manages to kick RealPlayer very hard in the nuts. It also plays just about bloody everything, from DivX to Ogg.

For those of you who aren't paranoid about flying already, for fear of hijackers, don't look at this! See, the FBI have compiled a document that shows you all the kinds of nasty concealed and James Bond type weapons one can sneak onto a plane. Myself, I can't see anyone trying this at all. I mean, razor playing cards? Crucifix knives? Gimme a break.

For the life of me, I haven't a clue what this was supposed to be about. This isn't the first time I have lost the humor or reasoning behind a link, and I know it won't be the last. The only thing my brain can dredge up about this was something about "spinach warriors". Was that the gag? I haven't a clue, but I give the link anyways. Go look at some newspics.

So yeah, Rick Mercer's Monday Report is on, so I'ma watch that.  ¶ 5:39 p.m.