Friday, March 11, 2005
Power of the Go-BOTS!
This is an opportunity to shout out to Shortpacked!, and specifically to this strip here involving Rock Lords.
Rock Lords were Go-bots. Go-bots are like Transformers, only lame. Immensely lame. Optimus Prime was, is and probably always will be a total badass, since he could turn into a giant truck robot that can single-handedly demolish the Decepticons. (That he dies in his OWN GOD DAMNED MOVIE! is an unfortunate marketing decision, but doesn't diminish his badassness.) The Go-bots have some chump named Leader-1. Yeah, he turns into a jet or something, but it doesn't matter, since he's lame and can't transform worth a damn.
Transformers transformed cool. You needed nearly a PhD to get some of the harder ones to go, and even then you risked breaking the robot or dislocating a finger. I still can't figure some of them out. Go-bots, on the other hand, were pathetic. They usually transformed in one or two steps, most of which involved turning their waist around 180 degrees or something equally stupid. The only Go-bot I gave a damn about was a Rock Lord.
Rock Lords are unlike Go-bots in that they aren't nearly as lame. Yeah, you could make the argument that turning into a rock is about as cool as The Kid In The Helmet, and I suppose there are a great many things one could turn into that would be better than a rock. In fact, I could probably name three right off the top of my head: a set of speakers, a turtle or a hat come to mind, and that's just the first three things I see when I look away from the monitor. The fact is though, that even these lamez0rz who turned into freaking ROCKS were better than the regular Go-bots. Terra-Rock was the one that I had, not that I either remembered the name (had to click through just about every pic to find that one) or that it's a good name (Terra-Rock? C'mon! A drunk monkey could fart out a better name on his armpit!) but that was the Rock Lord I had and he kicked ass. Mostly because he doubled as a projectile. ¶ 8:01 p.m.
This is an opportunity to shout out to Shortpacked!, and specifically to this strip here involving Rock Lords.
Rock Lords were Go-bots. Go-bots are like Transformers, only lame. Immensely lame. Optimus Prime was, is and probably always will be a total badass, since he could turn into a giant truck robot that can single-handedly demolish the Decepticons. (That he dies in his OWN GOD DAMNED MOVIE! is an unfortunate marketing decision, but doesn't diminish his badassness.) The Go-bots have some chump named Leader-1. Yeah, he turns into a jet or something, but it doesn't matter, since he's lame and can't transform worth a damn.
Transformers transformed cool. You needed nearly a PhD to get some of the harder ones to go, and even then you risked breaking the robot or dislocating a finger. I still can't figure some of them out. Go-bots, on the other hand, were pathetic. They usually transformed in one or two steps, most of which involved turning their waist around 180 degrees or something equally stupid. The only Go-bot I gave a damn about was a Rock Lord.
Rock Lords are unlike Go-bots in that they aren't nearly as lame. Yeah, you could make the argument that turning into a rock is about as cool as The Kid In The Helmet, and I suppose there are a great many things one could turn into that would be better than a rock. In fact, I could probably name three right off the top of my head: a set of speakers, a turtle or a hat come to mind, and that's just the first three things I see when I look away from the monitor. The fact is though, that even these lamez0rz who turned into freaking ROCKS were better than the regular Go-bots. Terra-Rock was the one that I had, not that I either remembered the name (had to click through just about every pic to find that one) or that it's a good name (Terra-Rock? C'mon! A drunk monkey could fart out a better name on his armpit!) but that was the Rock Lord I had and he kicked ass. Mostly because he doubled as a projectile. ¶ 8:01 p.m.
