And on that note, we cue the music.
I shall be without internet for a little while, so this is all you get. I have some Bloglines clippings to go through for when I'm online again, so I will have some stuff to talk about then. Otherwise, the next time I write, it will be from Alberta.

I am so excited I can barely talk. (S'why I'm typing...)

Whoosh!
  ¶ 2:38 p.m. 0 comments

  Hwu-TSH!
Fantastic essay regarding the Apple/Real hubub:

There the answer is less certain. In the United States, there are exceptions for reverse engineering, but the European copyright directive bobbled the issue badly, and some of the efforts at national implementation have the same problem. In the legitimate attempt to protect an existing legal monopoly over copyrighted content, these "technological measure" provisions run the risk of giving device and software manufacturers an entirely new legal monopoly over tied products, undercutting the EU's software directive and its competition policy in the process. Pity the poor razor manufacturers. Stuck in the analogue world, they will still have to compete to make a living, unable to make claims that the generic sellers are "breaking into our razors".

The best bit is right at the end. Don't blink or you'll miss it...

(via EFF Mini Links)

  ¶ 3:08 p.m. 0 comments

  Pretty...
Supernova colours are nice:


Makes you really wonder about the forces going on in stars, eh? Millions of tonnes of burning gas undergoing nuclear reactions millions and millions of miles away. Boggles the mind...
  ¶ 1:55 p.m. 0 comments

  Hrm.
I've tried about 5 times to get time to write a post about City of God and Shaun of the Dead, and I have yet to do so for various reasons. Rather than put it off any longer, I'm just going to say it.

City of God and Shaun of the Dead are both amazing movies that you should go out and watch at your first available opportunity. One is a powerful, well-shot movie about the slums of Rio that fully deserves its Oscar nominations. The other is a wickedly funny Dawn of the Dead parody from the UK.

Go watch both now.
  ¶ 6:49 a.m. 0 comments

  That's Ms. Nature to you, worm!


Dude.
  ¶ 6:42 a.m. 0 comments

  No longer hurling myself across the void
I have a place to live in the fall. It's an immense relief, to be sure, but I still have some slight apprehension since I have not seen the place and know the area it's in only slightly. Still, it will mean that I have somewhere to live while I'm at school and that I can spend the week before class starts goofing off and having fun.

From what I understand, it's a townhouse, and so far I am the only renter, which in my opinion kicks ass. Some people freak out at the prospect of living by themselves, but I'm definitely not one of them. Call me hermitous, but not having to worry about the static that develops at the interation of personal space bubbles. As well, the location could make it slightly easier for me to go back to Taekwon-do. Fencing has been fun, but for various time and logistics reasons, I probably won't be continuing it once I go back. In addition, getting my second dan would be pretty awesome, and I can't get that if I don't train.

While I have figured out where I am going to be, I am still living in my apartment for another week, and boy does it look rough. In packing up my chair, table, DVD player, carpet, microwave, movies, books, music, games, posters, lamp and computer, I literally tore my place apart. Now all my stuff is liberally scattered about the room, I have considerably less in the way of entertainment and finding things is starting to be a pain. By the end of the week, this will probably be completely reversed, with all my stuff being packed away and I will be living out of my luggage. Hoo-rah.

Not having a computer, and lacking all my movies and games leaves me slightly bereft of things to do while at home. To help shore this problem, I picked up a copy of Maximo: Army of Zin and Mario Golf Advance.

The sequel to the first Maximo is a whole bunch of more of the same. You run, you jump, you hit things with your sword. They've changed the game just enough to keep it fresh though, with a new hammer, all new enemies and some improved gameplay mechanics. Just like the first one though, the game is stupid hard. Not as hard as Ninja Gaiden, but still pretty difficult on Normal. (I haven't tried Hard difficulty yet, but I'm quite sure that it's insane cranked to 11.) Having played the first Maximo, I'm probably a bit advantaged since I know what to expect, but anyone picking it up for the first time will probably be thrown off by its old-schoolness. You get a limited number of lives, and when those are gone it's Game Over for ya. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. While they have made Maximo more robust when it comes to beating up bad guys (or perhaps I'm just already used to the combat), the jumping puzzles are still just as unforgiving as they ever were. You can now use your sword to catch an edge, which makes some jumps easier, but they have accomodated for that by making a number of jumps deliberately out of reach, forcing you to just barely make it up. Very cunning, those folks at Capcom. The level structure is also a nice throwback to the days of yore, with a simple linear chain of areas, each having a set of enemies to kill, treasure to loot and peasants to save. No doubt something great is unlocked if you master all the levels, but I probably won't find out what it is. Basically, if you're a fan of the run-and-jump 3D platformer, don't mind a challenge and would welcome an old-school game in these days of copious save points.

Mario Golf is also a surprising amount of fun. While you don't get to play as Mario except in the Quick Round mode, the RPG-esque Story Mode is not too shabby. While the story itself is looking to be the typical sports movie type -- newcomer who studied under the last great golfer is looking to become the new champ and rival the legendary Mario -- it serves its purpose, providing a reason to golf in tournament after tournament. The golfing itself is typical golf game stuff, with the power bars and the timed button presses, but there seems to be enough meat to it to make for a good game. I happen to like it, at least, and will attempt to convince my GBA-wielding friends to grab a copy so that I can destroy them with uber-golfing "m4d 5k!llz", such as they are. In short, MGA is a good, fun little game for the casual golfer who thinks that the "real" golf games like PGA 2004 or Tiger Woods induce too much rage.

I also had the opportunity to read Rendezvous with Rama by Arthur C. Clarke recently. I read the 2001 series a few years ago and after reading Rama, I think I'm liking Clarke's style more and more. The way that all the sci-fi stuff in his books is so well thought out really appeals to me. I always get the impression that everything is accounted for, that if you ever had a question about something he dreamed up, he would have an answer for you that respected all the laws of physics and nature that we've discovered so far. It's like a big step up from sci-fi like Star Trek or Star Wars where too much seems like it was done just for appearances or for story. Especially with those two, they then go back and try to explain everything away retroactively, which while admirable, usually results in some rather hokey stuff being invented -- midichlorians anyone?

So that pretty much sums up my last few days and also the next few as well. A few things are lined up, but for the most part the excitement starts next week once I'm back in Edmonton. Moving, parties, getting ready for school, that kind of thing. Can't hardly wait.
  ¶ 5:04 p.m. 0 comments

  Definitely from Mars.
Article over on the Globe and Mail about a super odd Amazonian tribe called the Piraha:

A study appearing today in the journal Science reports that the hunter-gatherers seem to be the only group of humans known to have no concept of numbering and counting.

Besides living a numberless life, he reports in a separate study prepared for publication, the Piraha are the only people known to have no distinct words for colours.

They have no written language, and no collective memory going back more than two generations. They don't sleep for more than two hours at a time during the night or day.

I really don't know what more to say. It's just one of those really odd stories you read about sometimes. I bet an linguist or anthropologist would have a field day with this though... (via eala_dubh)
  ¶ 2:35 p.m. 0 comments

  99% of all statistics are made up.
Insightful posting over on Drug WarRant about pot arrests in the U.S. since the '70s:

* "We are winning this war [on drugs]." --Pres. Richard Nixon, Oct. 15, 1972
* "It is the declared policy of the United States to create a Drug-Free America by 1995." --The Anti-Drug Abuse Act of 1988, Sec. 5251-B, enacted by Congress and Pres. Ronald Reagan

Sure looks like you're winning to me, Mr. President. Obviously arrests are what matter, and the fact that availability has remained more or less unchanged is surely just a trivial matter of inflation or something similar. Nothing to worry about - drug situation is firmly under control.

There's also another conjecture in another post about how Drug Czar John Walters is really a drug lord that I found rather amusing.
  ¶ 2:22 p.m. 0 comments

  Place shifting?
Cool piece over on Gizmodo about an interesting startup product supposedly in the works: The SlingBox personal broadcaster.

The idea is simple: hook up the little $200 box to your TiVo or your cable box and connect it to your home internet. Then, when you're out and about, just pull up the client software on your PDA or laptop. SlingBox's software will detect the quality and throughput of your connection and shoot you our a recompressed, digital stream of whatever analog signal you could be watching at home. It would even work on cellphones, they say, if the bandwidth were there (and it will be Real Soon Now).

Hot diggity that sounds cool! I wonder if it would work with a homemade DVR like the *nix boxes running FreeVo or the like...
  ¶ 11:28 a.m. 0 comments

  It hurts and stings! (But in a good way...)
I would like to believe my ear is full of cotton. Full of water would work as well, whichever is easier. This is because it feels like my ear is full of something, only it's not, and I am worried about it. Temporary hearing loss and damage and all that. I know exactly the cause of this latest affliction, however, and since it was basically self-inflicted, I probably shouldn't try to work the pity card too much. I am worried, however, since I haven't had this happen to me before, and I like my ears and would like them to keep working for a while. That said, I have considered wearing earplugs and dismissed them as being against the spirit of rock concerts. A party isn't a party if you play it safe, and a concert is just a big party with volume. As for hearing when I'm fifty, well, I'm just hoping that we can synthesize eardrums by then.

In short, the Jimmy Swift Band was playing last night at Maverick's, and just like the last time, they were unbe-freaking-lievable. Two sets and a couple of encores, mix well with some beer and a pretty decent set from opening band Caledonia, and you have a pretty kickass night, even on a Wednesday. The whole ear thing, missing my alarm* and being an hour late for work, having intermittent headaches and in general being dead tired this morning is acceptable revenge for revelry.

* I should probably rephrase: I did register my alarm, weighed the pros and cons of going back to sleep, made a calculated, thought out decision, and then smashed the Kill button and promptly released consciousness. As a bit of context, my alarm is scaled -- it gets louder the longer it goes -- and after a few minutes has sufficient volume to wake me up across a floor. This is to say, I was in the basement of my old house, my alarm was on the main floor, and it woke me up within ten to fifteen minutes. This morning took eight to ten, and the alarm was a foot from my ear.

Like I said, the bands were both pretty good. Caladonia was a rather folky sounding group; they reminded me a lot of the Grateful Dead, which is really not all that surprising. They started out a little shaky, but once they got past the first song, they got into the groove and started playing some pretty good stuff. As good as they were though, once the good Mr. Swift got going, the funk powerhouse just steamrolled right over everything and left me loping home at 2:30 in the AM, muttering to myself and wondering if the ringing would stop. (It still hasn't.)

I have up to now considered concerts as not being generally worth going to. The standing in a giant throng of people while being shoved, tossed around and deafened isn't my idea of a good time. However, (and this is a rather big however,) there can be elements in the concert that can make all that bearable. The standing bit is resolved easily enough by providing chairs, something that's almost a given if the venue is a bar, not so easily done if the concert is in a conference center or other giant, open area with a stage. Depending on the length of the show or whether dancing occurs, this can be overlooked, but otherwise it can be real pain. Yes, the music is usually obscenely loud, but this is so that rather than just listening to the music, you feel it. I mean that your organs are vibrating to the sound of the guitar, and every hit of the bass drum feels like your heartbeat. Being inundated in sound, like sinking into a hot tub, all warm and gooshy on the inside -- I declare it to be totally awesome.

So, depending on the music -- and the Jimmy Swift Band definitely qualifies -- I just might consider concerts more often from now on.  ¶ 2:48 p.m. 0 comments

  Kickass
The EFF has won the Grokster case!

EFF has won its Grokster case in the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals -- this is the case that establishes that if you make truly decentralized P2P software -- like Gnutella -- you can't be held liable for any copyright infringement that takes place on their networks. This is the "Betamax principle," from the famous Supreme Court case that established that Sony wasn't responsible for any infringement that its customers undertook with their VCRs.

The Studios' argument was that people who make P2P software should be obliged to build it in such a way as to make it easy to police -- i.e. not on Gnutella-like lines -- an idea so sickeningly dumb that it's a tremendous relief that the court refused to buy it.

Awesome, awesome news. It's reassuring to hear that the courts can see reason down in Crazy Yankee -land. Hopefully this will deflate the INDUCE act a little as well.

  ¶ 12:30 p.m. 0 comments

  You know how I said the Real v. Apple thing might get interesting?
So I see up on the EFF's Deep Links a nice little analysis of Real's newfound "Interoperability: Hurrah!" approach they have going on now. Very good points, all.

# In the RealNetworks v. Streambox case, Real was among the first litigants to invoke the DMCA to squash a competitor trying to interoperate with Real's proprietary streaming software.

# Real's own end-user licenses expressly forbid reverse engineering, even where that activity would be lawful as a fair use.

# Real has been conspicuously silent when it comes to legislative reforms, like H.R. 107, that have been introduced to reform the DMCA to permit legitimate reverse engineering.

  ¶ 11:35 a.m. 0 comments

  I can't think of a decent title for this one.
If I made a movie, one of the protagonists would be a pure-blooded, born-and-raised, completely devout Subgenius. This would be entirely to try and fool the audience into thinking that the Church of the Subgenius is fictional, and to surprise them when one or two of their fellow theater-goers stands and cries, "Hail Bob!"

Now. From Techdirt, we have the latest email scam going around, which tries to con people into paying copyright license for the use of the '@' symbol. The thought that people out there will believe it and cough up the dough for an "unlimited year-long blanket license" makes my head hurt.

We also have the Coincidence Theorist's Guide to 9/11. Any sane American would agree that all the items presented there must be simply the result of random events that just happen to fall together just so. To think otherwise would be un-patriotic, right? I'm so glad I'm Canadian.

Deep Thought: When you read the ingredients for your food and it says something like "Modified X" (X being something like Milk Ingredients, for example), how liberal is "modified"? Does modified mean that you can "modify" the milk ingredients by dehydrating them slightly? Or what if some of the milk sugars were taken out and replaced with straight up glucose to make it easier for the lactose intolerant? Or how about instead of milk proteins, they contain artificially synthesized chickenesque proteins? Because really, you could apply the title "modified" to just about anything after it has been through a process of some sort. I would be interested to see the legislation that defined this sort of thing.
  ¶ 11:10 a.m. 0 comments

  So very pretty...
Happened to be looking at Tagline again and they pointed me in turn to this trailer here for Appleseed. The style of both the animation (being a CGI/Manga hybrid) and the trailer (being said animation set to music with white Japanese phrases* overlaid) reminds me of just about all the recent trailers for eye-bleedingly beautiful anime movies coming out, (Innocence, Steamboy) and yet I still want to see it.

* I don't know if they're lyrics to the song, kareoke style, or credits -- I can't read Japanese.  ¶ 8:36 p.m. 0 comments

  If I get this way, you'll let me know, right?
Wow. Someone's pretty cynical about their porn:

Teacher = Regular porn with woman wearing glasses

Huge cocks = Regular sized cocks, tiny women

Free movie clips = Three 10 second clips

Free long movie clips = One 30 second clip

Pics & Movies - One 10 second clip, 700 similar pictures

  ¶ 8:09 p.m. 0 comments

  As we venture into the den of the suburban ninja...

Because I feel like continuing today's trend of posting like the world is ending, here is my apartment. Behold the inner sanctum, where my evil plans hatch. Or at least where I sit and watch the movies I can't convince anyone else to see.   ¶ 7:17 p.m. 0 comments

 

This is where I sleep... really. Around the corner are two closets (one full of clothes, the other full of boxes) and the bathroom.   ¶ 7:01 p.m. 0 comments

 

My kitchen. All the cans across the top of the cupboard are a) less in number than were there a week or two ago (it was full to capacity) and b) all club soda. It's what I drink - I make no apologies.   ¶ 6:57 p.m. 0 comments

 

Pulling the camera back a bit, we have the Table and the Desk. This is where the majority of my time is spent, at least when I'm not in my red chair.   ¶ 6:56 p.m. 0 comments

  Must be unhealthy.
A preview for Prince of Persia: Sands of Time 2 as pulled from Evil Avatar.

I want this game so much it hurts. Even after watching the Half-Life 2 movie. That's normal, right?  ¶ 5:16 p.m. 0 comments

  In other weird news today...
Don't buy Post Offices over eBay. Yes, Post Offices. More trouble than they're worth, the buggers... Here's the gist of the story so far:

A few years ago, a woman in a small town in Texas put up the general store she owned for sale on eBay. That store just happened to include a US Post Office. A married couple bought the store and started to run the Post Office themselves, despite having no training at all -- something they felt was a bit of a security threat. They claim they asked repeatedly for the training, but no one would return their calls. Postal Service accountants were calling and complaining about the way the couple filled out forms, but since they couldn't get the proper training, they just gave up filling out the forms altogether (or filled them out on an irregular basis). Then, the money orders started showing up. Boxes of 500, good for $1,000 each. The wife wanted to ship them back, but the Postal Service said she couldn't. She eventually hid about a million dollars worth of the money orders in her daughters diaper bag, afraid of what would happen to them. Eventually, since no one was paying attention to them, they decided to force the situation, and had someone purchases $4,500 worth of the money orders with a bogus check... which certainly got them noticed, and shut down the store.

At least, that's the story so far. There isn't very much to support it at the moment, and this certainly sounds like the kind of story that could be easily debunked. Hopefully Snopes will step in at some point and let us know what the scoop is. Until then, it's just another thing to read that makes you go, Huh?
  ¶ 1:10 p.m. 0 comments

  Do it! Do it! Do it!
Awesome, killer, fantastic proposal over at Game Girl Advance about studying videogames through the videogame format:

As silly as it may sound, I believe we need a video game that works as a text on video games. Would it be a difficult game to create, write, and execute? Well, hell yeah. But a game that could help sum up the history of games, put games and their styles in context and do it all by showing rather than telling would be an incredible tool for those people like myself who are trying to be "ludologists."

Somebody do this please. I cannot express how flat out, hands down, balls to the walls COOL it would be. Not only an analysis of why videogames kick the ass that they do,* but an analysis that can show you exactly why.

Pretty please? Somebody?

* With size 14 Stompy Doc Martens no less!  ¶ 10:53 a.m. 0 comments

  Boing Boing: Carroll's Jabberwocky as ActionScript code
Jabberwock: Action Script Edition.

function setScene() {
var brillig;
with (wabe) {
toves['slithy'].gyre()
toves['slithy'].gimble()
}
for (borogoves) {
this = mimsy;
}
mome.raths (outgrabe);
};

Programmable poetry. How very very odd...  ¶ 8:29 a.m. 0 comments

  Wired News: Real Bites Apple on Downloads
Nifty piece at Wired about Real smiting Apple:

RealNetworks will slash its song and album prices in half Tuesday in an attempt to lure music fans to buy its music downloads, which play on a slew of portable music players, including Apple iPods.
...
Locking paying music fans into a particular device or service "is very anti-consumer and dangerous to the growth of the overall music business," he said. "Price is a very clear and simple way to communicate the benefit of choice in digital music, which is what this campaign is all about."

While I still despise Real's RealPlayer software, they seem to be on the right track when it comes to the way to treat selling music online. I'm interested to see how this will affect iTunes and the sale of big label music online.  ¶ 6:57 a.m. 0 comments

  More Changes!
Yeah, going with a very blank template for the next little bit. I want to make a new look for the site again, but I'm not quite sure how yet. Plus, the comic wasn't showing right on the old template.

Please stand by.  ¶ 9:07 p.m. 0 comments

  Something Awful - Watchmen Mash-ups
I'm not normally a fan of Something Awful, as I've mentioned before. Sometimes, however, they do manage to hit the nail on the head. This stuff in particular, I also happen to like, if not only because I'm a big fan of the original Watchmen. Therefore, in the spirit of the Random Spider-man Comics and the GI Joe PSAs, I present the Something Awful Watchmen Mash-ups:

  ¶ 9:02 p.m. 0 comments

  Haven't I seen this before?
So there's a post over on Tagliners about Sky High, the movie about a superhero high school. The fact that Lynda Carter, Bruce Campbell and Dave Foley are all signed on might make it good, but the director was the guy responsible for the humourous-when-stoned-or-drunk-but-still-a-giant-fecal-bolus Deuce Bigolo, Male Gigolo. Yes, the ugly cloud still threatens a rain of frogs. Or fish. Or something equally slimy and undesirable.

Besides, I think I liked the concept when it was called PS238.  ¶ 7:17 p.m. 0 comments

  The Grand List of Console Role Playing Game Cliches
For those that are less-than-impressed with Final Fantasy. And even, I suppose, for those who love it too.

# Some Call Me... Tim?
Good guys will only have first names, and bad guys will only have last names. Any bad guy who only has a first name will become a good guy at some point in the game. Good guys' last names may be mentioned in the manual but they will never be referred to in the story.
# Nominal Rule
Any character who actually has a name is important in some way and must be sought out. However, if you are referred to as a part of a posessive noun ("Crono's Mom") then you are superfluous.
# The Compulsories
There's always a fire dungeon, an ice dungeon, a sewer maze, a misty forest, a derelict ghost ship, a mine, a glowing crystal maze, an ancient temple full of traps, a magic floating castle, and a technological dungeon.

I think it would be cool if you made a game that deliberately broke as many of these things as possible. NPCs would cower when you walk in with a hugeantic sword, the prophecy about the chosen one and how he/she will save the world will be utterly false, if there need to be 8 crystals to save the world, you can get by with 5 if you really try... that sort of thing. It'd be awesome, I say.

(via Evil Avatar)   ¶ 7:06 p.m. 0 comments

  Ha ha! It's a little Lego-iPod!
Well, sure, it's really a Kubrick man, but close enough.  ¶ 11:39 a.m. 0 comments

  Is there an unwritten rule that says...
...all hot beverages must remain below eyeball height?

Because if there is, I've broken it. Not to worry though, because condoms have far more uses than you might expect. And to answer your unasked question, no, I don't spend much time thinking of these elaborate, cunning segues; they just come to me out of their own free will. Like this one:



Moving right along yet again, I went to see Aliens vs. Predator this weekend. Personally, I thought it was exactly the sort of movie that it shoud have been. There were a few things that I would have done differently had I been at the helm*, but there usually are when it comes to movies so saturated in... whatever it is that powers the average fanboy. It is to the credit of Paul Anderson that he can tap into that power source and use it to fuel a movie. The little touches like having Mr. Weyland tap between his fingers with his pen just serve to give the audience a reason to go "Oooooh, wow!" instead of "Hey, this movie isn't very good!" Because really, if you don't already know exactly what to expect before the lights dim, you probably won't like the movie. Therefore, those who will go see the movie will like it, and those who won't go, wouldn't be entertained anyways so it's all good. As movies that require no reviews go, this one was pretty decent.

* For completeness, I would have had the mousey, short-haired chick not die, had the pyramid in the middle of the freaking desert, since it's been established that Predators like the heat, (plus it means that instead of the oh-so-segsy parka and mittens outfits, we can have much-more-segsy tank top and shorts, like a proper summer movie should), and lastly, I would have tossed the opening strains of the Predator theme in somewhere, just because.

Doom 3, not-so-coincidentally, is very much like Aliens vs. Predator, in that I got to give it a go this weekend (played for the first 20 minutes or so of the game) and it has the whole "made for the people that will play it" thing. If you are going to buy the game, you already have and you probably liked it, (at least for a while) and if you weren't going to like it, you probably wouldn't pick it up in the first place. For myself, I think that Doom 3 is a cutting-the-bleeding-razor's-edge engine, with a thoroughly mediocre game encapsulating it. It is pretty obvious in my mind that it's been a while since anyone at Id has played the original Doom, since there was a nice tightrope act to perform in order to get the game right, and they fell after about two steps.

In my mind, Doom was all about extremes. The thing that made the game awesome was that every little element, from the weapons to the monsters to the level design, was all designed to swing you from the "fun" extreme, where you are an arsenal, mowing down monsters with aban- nay, wild abandon, and then within the single instant it takes to go from "ammo" to "no ammo", you get swung over to the "frightened" extreme. I don't think I need to elaborate on the details of what that means, other than the phrase "Can't move, zombies will get me" tends to sum it up quite nicely. Doom 3, unfortunately, doesn't do this very well. It seems to be all hung up on being frightening, and not enough on being fun. Why else would you make a game that bloody dark, and then not allow you to hold a flashlight and a gun at the same time? It could be that later on in the game, the balance is restored and all becomes well again, but I'm not optimistic on that one, mainly because of the shotgun.

The shotgun, you see, is the anti-zombie weapon. Just as the vampire has the stake, and the wolfman has silver bullets, the zombie has the shotgun. In Doom, not only was the shotgun the best tool for clearing a room of zombies in the early game, but it was your first weapon. Yes, you had the pistol, but while moderately effective against living targets, it has no stopping power. To take down zombies and demons, you need something that possesses Oomph. Something that doesn't so much hit the target, but slam into it like a pack of marauding, Ginsu-wielding cinder blocks. Something that could, with all honesty and sincerity, call itself a boomstick with a straight face and convince a roomful of others to do the same. The shotgun, gameplay-wise, should be able to take down anything the size of an average man in one hit, and then remain a viable weapon for the rest of the game, even after you get all the high explosives and rapid-fire machine-gunnery. In Doom 3, it has the right size, shape and rate of fire, but it had no power, no substance, and that was what really did it for me. To be armed with the shotgun, face down a zombie, fire point-blank into its chest and not kill it just sucked all the fun right out of the game. Yes, I do feel that strongly about my shotguns.

So to sum up, Doom 3 is very pretty (if dark) and shows nothing but pure, unbridled potential for the way games of the future will look, but if Id once knew how to make a good game, they have largely forgotten, and that's just a darn shame. Doom 3 goes through the motions, and if you had fond memories of the original, you just may like this new-fangled incarnation, (provided you don't get hung up on little things like the shotgun) but for me, I will move on to greener pastures.

See, I also rented Spider-man 2 this weekend for my Playstation 2, and it, in contrast, is fun. I think of it not so much as a Spider-man game, but as a web-swinging simulator that happens to have a fighting system and a plot that resembles the movie. If you ever wanted an idea of what web-swinging must be like, play this game. Other than the web-swinging, it's all pretty decent - the camera doesn't make you want to strangle it (often), the fighting system is pretty cool (if you've played previous Spider-man games, you know all about this), and the voice acting is better than average (Bruce Campbell reprises his role as the narrator that gives you, er, "helpful" tips). It's no Prince of Persia, but it's definitely worth a rental or two.

Speaking of Prince of Persia though, I was playing this one as well over the weekend (yeah, it was a very videogamey weekend) and yes, it's just as awesome as ever. If you haven't played this game in its entirety yet, don't wait any longer. It's available on all three consoles and on the PC, so if you're reading this, you shouldn't have an excuse. It's relatively short, so you could conceivably finish in a 3-night rental, and definitely finish it in a week-long one. Penny Arcade gave it the "Best Absolutely Everything" award for last year in the We're Right Awards, and it deserves it so much. There's a sequel coming out in November by the same team, and believe me, November won't get here soon enough.

Did I do anything this weekend other than watch movies and play video games? Well, there was a nice game of Diplomacy tossed in on Sunday, but otherwise, not really. Then again, did you expect anything else?
  ¶ 9:15 a.m. 0 comments

  Duuuuuuuude.
The Bluetooth Tooth:


Yeah, you're seeing it right. It's a tooth-drive that would hold 512MB of memory. A tooth drive.

WHY???
  ¶ 12:59 p.m. 0 comments

  And people say you can't get anywhere by being lazy.
Check it out: Surfer pillow that tells you whether to get out of bed or not.

[R]ather than get up in the wee hours of the morning to check the waves, Elmar Trefz developed a special pillow that connects to a PC that vibrates depending on what wave conditions are like that morning.

Bad waves means you can just roll over and go back to Nod. Awesome, says I!
  ¶ 10:04 a.m. 0 comments

  Ick, ick, ICK!!!
Yeeeeccccchhhh... I thought the Prozac in the drinking water story was gross, but this one takes the cake.

Thirty-nine year old Gayle Laverne Grinds of Florida died after rescue workers attempted to remove her from a couch she had become attached to. They couldn't get her skin to separate from the couch, so they put the couch in a trailer and hauled her behind a truck to the hospital.

EWWW!!!
  ¶ 1:44 p.m. 0 comments

  How very odd...
It is a wood block.

But it's also a clock:


Funky.
  ¶ 11:16 a.m. 0 comments

  What's wrong with corporations?
Seriously, first there was the bit about Apple chewing out Real because Real made the iPod more useful, now Microsoft put the clamps on SP2torrent.com. For those not in the know, SP2Torrent.com was a site that hosted the Windows XP SP2 patch quickly and easily over BitTorrent, since Microsoft's servers were only able to let 200 people download it per day or something. Seems that providing a free service that helps out Microsoft's users is not to be tolerated however, and if anyone's going to to anything to the "Micro-serfs" it's going to be Bill's team that does it.

And you wonder why people just do favours for others anymore...

  ¶ 11:06 a.m. 0 comments

  Good grief.
Think you can drink Pepsi at the Olympics? Think again.

The Interational Olympic Committee ... is policing spectators at the games to ensure that they aren't toting brand-marks for their sponsors' rivals. Penalties for buying the wrong product range from confiscation of your goods to being forced to wear your t-shirt logo-side-in.

Repeat after me: You like Coca-Cola... You like M&Ms... You like them...

Seriously though, what is this? Am I just supposed to accept this as a sign of the times, where brand loyalty takes priority to sport at a sporting event? Have we bottomed out to such depths that someone has the authority to tell you what you can wear on your T-shirt, where Olympic-caliber athletes are equated to nothing more than surface area upon which logos and slogans can be emblazoned?

Pfeh.
  ¶ 7:25 a.m. 0 comments

  Fancy!
Anyone remember the guy in Norway that was under fire for writing software that cracked DVDs or something? Jon "DVD Jon" Johansen ring a bell? Well, he's doing stuff again, and this time he's taken on the big "A".

Jon "DVD Jon" Johansen has cracked the Apple Lossless encryption used by the Airport Express to communicate with iTunes, so that programmers can write tools that use any application and any operating system to send audio to an Airport Express.

Cool beans, if I do say so meself, which I do, so it is. I'm sure he'll get slammed for "viciously and maliciously exploiting and hacking the sanctity of Apple's products" or some other line, but I'm rooting for him. I think it's awesome that there are people out there who are happily smashing all the borders that have been put up in the tech world, even at risk to themselves.
  ¶ 7:14 a.m. 0 comments

  Tournament match-ups that I would pay to see.
The Ultimate Villain Showdown.

(My money's on Keyser Sose.)  ¶ 6:01 p.m. 0 comments

  So I have bought Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.
I thought I was done with the undead. Apparantly not, as straight to you, through me, via Tagliners, I bring you...

Shaun of the Dead.

A) It looks like a really good movie.

B) It is a parody of Dawn of the Dead

C) Point B, for those not following along means zombies.

D) (You knew this was coming...) SQUEE!!

Once again, this time with feeling: IT MUST BE MINE!!!  ¶ 6:15 p.m. 0 comments

  It came from Japan.
Why, it seems to be a set of illustrated instructions about how smokers should be considerate to non-smokers...

How very bizarre. (via Mimi Smartypants)
  ¶ 4:36 p.m. 0 comments

  Say it with me now...
IT MUST BE MINE!

Seriously, this couch is the... the... I just don't have a phrase suitable. Cat's pajamas is just silly - cats don't wear pajamas on their own, and if you do get your kitty into a set, then you probably have less skin then I. Bee's knees would work, except the phrase was ancient before I was born and hasn't aged well. Let's go with cream dream double-team supreme and leave it at that.

Now, to convince Amazon.ca to add concept furniture to their Wish Lists...  ¶ 1:59 p.m. 1 comments

  Links! ... well, a link at any rate.
Article in Wired by Lawrence Lessig about the President and copyright:

No self-respecting president would speak at a club that excluded women: Whatever rights a private organization may enjoy, a president stands for equality. So why did the current leader of the free world, who rarely holds press conferences, agree to speak on a talk show that refuses to license on a neutral basis the content he contributed? Is vigorous debate over matters as important as going to war less important than protecting his image?

Good question.

  ¶ 11:58 a.m. 0 comments

  Eeeeewwwwww....
Seems that there's so many people taking Prozac in the UK, that traces of the drug have been found in the drinking water. Gone and looped around in the whole cycle, as it were.

Ewww...  ¶ 9:05 a.m. 0 comments

  How To Be Idle by Tom Hodgkinson
How to be Idle is a book coming out in September (over here, at least) and is an analysis on being lazy. An extract is available online at The Guardian, and needless to say, IT MUST BE MINE!! (via BoingBoing)

If anyone feels like being generous, it's on my Amazon Wish List...

...


anyone?  ¶ 3:42 p.m. 0 comments

  I have been remiss.
Some cool stuff to go click at:

Wanna hide your phone? Stuff it in a pocket. Wanna use it while it's hidden all spy-like on the inside of your forearm? Get this.

Ah, the map for those who haven't the faintest clue as to how the world is laid out. Interesting how Canada is such a tiny little corner of the world, no?

Some of you might have gotten the "How to win every argument" email that was floating around a while ago. That was funny, and although it might work a few times, this here guide is much better. For one, it uses logic, and for another, it assumes you know something about how arguments work, which you should if you want to be able to win the things.

Most of the copyfight crap I toss up here is US-centric. This isn't. If you're a Canuck, please go check it out.

KITTIES!!! (via Not My Desk)
  ¶ 1:38 p.m. 0 comments

  Introducing the PalmPSOne!
You think you got ingenuity? Build one of those, then we'll talk.  ¶ 8:35 p.m. 0 comments

  Too much like work for my tastes
I dislike moving. While I am not yet at the point of physically sending all my material belongings across the nation again, I am nonetheless in the process of moving. First, however, I need to figure out where I am going to be moving to. Edmonton is a rather large-ish city, and has many different places where one could pile one's stuff and make a home. I just need to find the one with the best Feng Shui,* and coordinate how I will be able to see this place from here in Ottawa.

* Feng Shui in this case meaning not whether the entrance is placed to the north for the best chi, but whether or not the place is furnished and has high-speed internet included in the rent, that sort of thing.

Speaking of Ottawa, I'm probably going to be miss being here somewhat. It's been fun living on my own, and more specifically, working**. However, I'm finding that I'm looking forward to going back to school. I like my job and everything, but I don't love it with all my heart and wish I could do it forever and ever and ever. Since I have the ability to just leave and go do something else, I am looking forward to doing so, and at the very least, it'll be nice to be back in Edmonton, even if it's just for a little while. Some people have asked me if I think I'll ever be in Ottawa again, and while I wouldn't mind, it's not going to be a defining factor in my search for work, and I'm going to go whereever opportunity takes me. Could mean Ottawa again, but it could just as easily mean Calgary or Vancouver or Toronto or even Fort Mac. As much as I would like to avoid it, the money they pay you up there would be worth it, methinks.

** Say what you will about work vs. school, but work definitely gets an edge in that it becomes over at the end of the day - unless you're one of those VP-types who never really leaves work, of course. School, on the other hand, just seems to be omnipresent and all-smothering.

Another thing I'll be looking forward to is Taekwond-do. Fencing is fun, but there's something satisfying to fighting with your fists and feet that fencing just doesn't have. Something about shield bashes and headbutts being uncivilized and frowned upon. Oh, and something about safety reasons. Regardless, while fighting with a sword kicks all kinds of snack ass, fighting unarmed kicks just as much ass*** and I have not done it in a longer time. That, and I haven't broken any boards in 7 months, and that is just criminal. Smashing and breaking things should be done on a weekly basis to maintain sanity. Well, a lot of things should be done on a (no less than) weekly basis to maintain sanity, some things should be done far more often, but smashing things is definitely among all those.

*** Whether this ass is snack remains to be seen.

The Doctor Who theme still has its hooks in my brain, but to a lesser extent now. I only have to listen to it every other song now, instead of constantly. As part of yet another music-related musing, I am now wondering if I can have what I'm playing in Winamp as I post display in the post itself. Something along the lines of having each post end with "I'm listening to by . You should be too." For example, right now I'm listening to Sign of the Southern Cross, by Black Sabbath, and you should be too, because it is kickass. Y'know why it's kickass? Because it's Ronny James Dio, that's why.

  ¶ 2:57 p.m. 1 comments

  The theme... it is hypnotic!
For the curious, I speak of the Doctor Who theme, specifically. Orbital did a cover of it on their album The Altogether, and I've been listening to it off and on ever since I started watching the show. I think it's the oscilloscopic sounds of the melody that really does it, but the bassy backbone could be just as responsible. Perhaps it is the minor key, or the fact that I don't think the "happy" melody in the Orbital cover is part of the theme... Whatever it is, it will not leave my brain, and I have to keep listening and humming the song over and over again! If it weren't so kickass, I would probably mind more.

I watched The Pirate Planet last night, (or is it The Planet Pirates?) and I must say that if anything, the series is ambitious. With nothing more than a handful of interior sets, barely enough cast members to form a crowd and props that look like they were made from scrap, the show manages to pull off a story that makes the recent offal Star Trek has done look like... well, crap. I mean, to get the audience to believe that the episode takes place on a hollow planet that maintains a time dam from the gravity of planets that have been compressed to the side of soccer balls... And toss in a cyborg and some telepaths to boot! Rather impressive stuff for the 70s - I can see why the cult following on this show is the way it is.

Anyhow, I was thinking about the show last night in-between episodes, whilst I was making some pizza, and I have decided that they just don't make shows like Doctor Who anymore. Now, often when ideas like this strike me, I don't remember them, but I managed to hang on to this one for posterity. Anyways, Doctor Who was done in the style of pulp serials - you have a large storyline broken into separate bits, and each bit ends with a cliffhanger to get the viewer/reader to tune in next time. If you watch all the bits back to back, it makes the whole story like a movie, and so you have the same freedom with extended length that comes with cinema, but in a television form. That doesn't happen anymore, not really.

Yes, there are TV series* on the air that have a major plotline overarching the episodes, but it isn't quite the same. Those plotlines would run for an entire season, and the majority of each episode would go towards the plotline of the specific episode, with a small amount of the uber-plot (for lack of a better term) dispensed throughout. The difference is in the scale. A story arc for Alias, for example, lasts for 13 hour-long** episodes. A Doctor Who story arc lasts 4 half-hour-long episodes. A Doctor Who story can be enjoyed over the course of 4 weeks, or just as easily in a sitting. Not so for Alias - unless if you consider watching TV for most of a day to be "in a sitting".

* What is the plural of series? Serieses? One series, two series? Doesn't seem right. Maybe I'm just being weird though.

** I'm aware that the episodes are really only 44 minutes. Doesn't have the same ring to it. Now quit arguing semantics.

Formats aside, this little cogitation on my part ended up sparking a bigger question: when did "leave the audience wanting more" turn into "leave the audience satisfied'? To get to this question involves the following process:*

Start!
> Doctor Who ends each ending with a cliffhanger.
> The cliffhanger is there to get people to tune in next time.
> This only works if the program is good however, since the cliffhanger only gets you if you're into the program and like it.
> This reminds me of an episode of Captain Star where the crew go off to entertain the aliens in the Great Dark.
> After the crew sneak off more and more and are in danger of being permanently held in the Dark, Capt. Star goes to settle the matter himself, and gives the greatest show ever.
> He then leaves and never does a repeat performance, since the secret to giving a good show is to always leave the audience wanting more.
> Jump back to me - all my favorite movies have left me wanting more.
> Or rather, they have always left me wanting the movie to go on and on, but still realizing that it can't.
> Some of the movies I have seen recently, on the other hand, such as I, Robot, have left me saying "Well, it wasn't a "good movie", but I was entertained. I am satisfied." In fact, I can think of several times where my companions at such a movie have uttered the same thing.
> Is this what we, the audience, has become?
> When did we stop demanding quality in our cinema?
> Is it because we asked for stories that wrapped up nicely and got squared away?
> Did we ask for these movies that provided us with our 2 hours of distracted entertainment and then kindly buggered off so we could go back to our lives?
> If that's the case, it's reasonable to assume that that is what they think we want.
> When did "leave the audience wanting more" become "give the audience what they want"?

* This is a glimpse into how my mind works sometimes. Viewer discretion is advised.**

** I am also aware of the irony of putting the disclaimer in the footnote. It is intentional.

That thread there could devolve further into more mutterings and ramblings, but I'll stop. You shall be spared more of the inner workings of my brain - all clockwork and humming, whirring along until someone throws a monkey wrench into it. That happens to me sometimes, as anyone who's been around me for any length of time knows.

Anyhow, it's home time so I'm sending this and posting it. Hyah.
  ¶ 2:57 p.m. 0 comments

  The fresh regurgitation of the past week.
I'm still not dead, but I have been doing things, mainly during this past long weekend, the events of which you will be subjected to shortly, if you keep reading.

Most of my time has been spent writing up my co-op report. This normally wouldn't be a big deal, but the topic this term was on ethics, and my normally-chatterboxian muse decided that its' lips were going to be tighter than... than something that's really tight, that's what. She was silent, at any rate, so getting a single sentence onto the screen was like pulling teeth. It didn't hurt that I felt like I was repeating myself over and over again, neither. Needless to say, this was, in my opinion, my worst essay ever. Of course, since I have the impression that these reports are not read all that closely, it probably won't matter all that much as long as I didn't steal the thing, which I didn't, so it's all good.

In terms of actual "stuff" I did, well, that's a bit more mundane.

Last Wednesday, headed out for curry with some chums at a little place downtown, and it was pretty good - not the best curry evar, but still quite tasty. I also had this yoghurt milkshake drink thing for which I forget the name, which was also quite good and came in a really nifty cup! We struck out as a group afterwards for gelato, and after a brief detour during which we experimented on the merits of vocal communication across a street and 5 floors verticality,* eventually disbanded and trudged off in our respective directions.

* It doesn't work so well.

Thursday was going to be essaying, with a break to hang out at fencing and grab a bite to eat, followed by more essaying, but what it ended up being, was attempted essaying, followed by a bite to eat since fencing was more or less cancelled, and then more attempted essaying followed by giving up and going to bed.

Friday was spent doing more attempted essaying after work, with a brief break to go see Scot Free at the Buster Festival. He did a pretty good show - some kung-fu torch juggling and an escape from a Saran Wrap prison, among other things. I finally ended up finishing my essay Saturday in the early afternoon and wasted no time in getting back down to Sparks Street to get more street performer viewing in. Caught Peter Sweet's act (very good - has a great performer persona, and managed to do a slackrope act in the rain; rather daring...), the New York Street Boys (drum act involving buckets, barrels and an empty keg), saw Pane Temov doing his marionette bit (awesome puppets and some really great puppeteering, but his showmanship could be better) and stopped for lunch at the Hortons. Met up with Heather there and we saw the tail end of Jeff Hill's bit and then headed off to the Rideau Center for mass consumerism! We walked out of the mall a short time later both with less money than when we went in, but she was up an EQ card, a Dr. Who DVD and an U.N.K.L.E. CD (I think that's how it's spelled...). I, by contrast, ended up with Monster Magnet's latest album, Monolithic Baby! and the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Vol. 2 DVD, both of which I will expound on later. Finished up the day with some food at Woody's and my swinging by Sparks again to catch Aiden Orange before going home. He had a quite spectacular act, as he's the guy who can fit through a tennis racket. He can also juggle with a dislocated shoulder, fit though a squash racket, and then do the tennis racket bit again, only on fire that time. Showstopping number was balancing a running lawnmower on his chin while people tossed heads of lettuce into the blades. Eventually, I ended up back home for some slackage that mostly consisted of listening to Monolithic Baby! a LOT.

I got to sleep in on Sunday, and was soon enough back over to Sparks Street for more Buskers. Yes, I am an addict. This time the weather was great, so I saw Aytahn, Jeff Hill, the Acromaniacs and Ash Circle. Aytahn had a pretty elaborate act, with some ping-pong ball work,* a bit of contact juggling and some flaming baton twirling/tossing. Jeff Hill did most of the same stuff he did on Saturday, being some fire-eating and ring magic, only with a strait-jacket escape added in. Acromaniacs were mainly a acrobatics/balancing act whose coup-de-grace was the Neck To Neck balance - the hardest balance there is, where one performer is inverted on the other, with only their neck and shoulders touching. Ash Circle, providing a bit of contrast, was largely a fire act with some rope dagger work. Their big bit was the skinny rope twirler standing on the larger fire-breather's shoulders and popping a balloon in the fire-breather's mouth with the whirling rope dagger. They finished it off with a really neat fire-breathing duo bit, which probably would have been super-spectacular at night, but during the day was still quite impressive.

* Involves juggling a couple of them with his mouth. Sounds lame, but is really impressive.

The day continued as I meandered over to the Diner to see if anyone was hanging out after fencing, but ran into Heather and her Mom instead, and after eating, stopped by Sugar Mountain before going home again. I didn't stay home for very long though, and headed back out, not so coincidentally, to Heather and Pierre's place to watch the antics of the Champions of Norrath group. Unfortunately, or rather somewhat entertainingly (depending on if you're me or them), about 3 hours of play was lost from the PS2 locking up, so we migrated over to Larry's apartment for some Settlers of Catan. There, I tried Red Bull. Red Bull is a very interesting beverage. It's supposedly an energy drink, but it doesn't really have the effect of giving energy so much as it gets you rather high. This effect is increased if you also drink a can or two of Monster. Monster is basically carbonated Red Bull, but while RB is a 150mL bottle, Monster comes in a 420mL can, and the nutritional info for it is actually for a 1/2 can. Wee bit underhanded there, but whatever. Anyways, after having 2 cans of Monster and 1 bottle of the Bull, I ended up doing various things until 3 am, not unlike a crack addict. Seriously folks, those drinks are strong stuff - handle with care.

Monday was more of slacking. I did some laundry, some dishes, bought some food, but mostly sat in my chair in my underwear and relaxed. Read Understanding Comics again - such a sublime book! I also watched some Doctor Who, as lent to me by Heather. In particular, it was the Key to Time season from the Tom Baker days. For some reason, his is the Doctor I think about when I think of Doctor Who - the coat, the scarf, the hair... At any rate, despite being of low quality by today's standards, there's something about the spirit of the show that appeals to me. I think it's the very 70s style of the naming of things, and the TARDIS of course. Gotta love the Police Call box that's bigger inside than outside! I've only seen the first story arc of the season, The Ribos Operation, but I'm looking forward to the rest of it, which I'll probably watch this week. I also watched a bit more Zim and some ATHF and of course, more Monolithic Baby!

Monster Magnet's latest album is really quite awesome. The Magnet is really one of those bands whose sound is so unique to them that it's hard to describe. Kind of a stoner, spacey, heavy metal with a hint of psychadelia, but that doesn't really do it justice at all. Neither do the two songs that made it onto the radio - Powertrip and Space Lord - since while they are Monster Magnet, they're not really representative of what makes the band awesome. Anyways, Monolithic Baby? It's more of that. The good stuff. The tone of the lyrics has shifted a bit from drugs to sex, but they're still post-apocalyptic and sometimes rather bizarre, but in a good way. All the requisite wailing of guitars are there, and they have some downright catchy stuff in Unbroken and Master of Light. Now since I bought this disc - yes, with money and everything - I got the bonus DVD, and I must say that made the difference for me. The only reason I bought the album was because I couldn't download it, and because it was not on a RIAA label like all the other Monster Magnet albums. So I figured, if I'm going to pay money for this album, I might as well get the one with the DVD, and having the music videos and some concert footage was worth the few extra bucks. Especially the Unbroken music video - that one's great. In terms of overall greatness, I am not yet sure where to place Monolithic, but it is definitely in the Top 3 along with Dopes to Infinity and God Says No.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force, on the other hand, is something. I would go so far as to say it's the stupidest smart show on television. It jockeys with Trailer Park Boys for the top slot. The difference between ATHF and really stupid shows on TV is that AHTF is intentionally stupid, and it manages to be intentionally stupid in a very smart way. You can tell that someone has thought very hard at how to make the show exactly like it is, and they're good at it. Every episode barely makes sense, and more often than not the protagonists* don't end up being very protagonistic and just run away at the first sign of danger. Still, it's highly entertaining, if only because it's so very odd.

* A milkshake, a box of fries and a meatball, all living together in Jersey. Not kidding.

So that was my weekend. Fairly eventful by my standards, but not really when you think about it. Anyways, I think I've got enough stuff here already. I'll try to post some neat links tomorrow.
  ¶ 2:25 p.m. 2 comments