Is it porn dog or corn dog? (Or maybe horn dog?)

Now you're being silly. I know the difference between right and wrong. I just don't care.
--Black Mage, from 8-Bit Theater

That Black Mage, will he ever learn?

Anyways, I was thinking about how it's playoff season now. See, merchandise is big, right, so why don't we make new stuff for people to buy? With that in mind, I propose TEAM HELMETS!!! Oh yeah... forget third jerseys. The custom helmets are here to stay! One for each NHL team, but of course, some wouldn't get them for reasons of them looking retarded, but the ones that did would be drop dead stylin'. My takes:

THE EASILY-HELMETED:
Ottawa - Roman helmet, complete with the sideburn-guards and broom-thing. (I don't know what they're really called.)
Edmonton - Grimy hardhat outfitted with LED miner-light. Perfect for blinding the opposition!
Detroit - Valkyrie-style helmet, with wings at least a foot long!
New Jersey - Devilish helmets, replete with crazy-huge Hellboy horns. (Bonus points if they're sharpened!)
Tampa Bay - Like Detroit, only lightning bolts. (Bonus points if you get the plasma-ball effect!)
Buffalo - Giant buffalo head, making them minotauran avengers of doom!
Florida - Like Buffalo, only a sabretooth tiger, complete with the giant fangs! (Bonus for sharpening still in effect!)
Calgary - Stylized fireball. (Bonus points if you get a real flaming helmet!)
Washington - Like a WW1 German army helmet, only the top of the Capital building!
San Jose - See Buffalo or Florida, but y'know... a shark.
Anaheim - A duck. (It would so work. The team can't possibly get more ridiculous.)
Phoenix - Again with the animals.
Philadelphia - Just like Detroit, wings and all, only lamer-looking.
St. Louis - Just like Philly or Detroit, but blue and with music note earmuffs.
Nashville - Just like Florida, only a slightly different, more silver cat.
Minnesota - Yeah. Another animal/cat/thing.
Colorado - Stylized plume of snow.
Columbus - Yet another animal helmet, only this one would look cool because it has mandibles!
Chicago - Indian headdress. 'Natch.
Los Angeles - Big. Freakin. Crown. (Bonus points if it levitates above your head and is on fire!)
Pittsburg - Penguin head! They could double as Linux mascots!

THE NOT:
Carolina - a stylized hurricane?
Vancouver - a big block of tofu? Maybe some bean-sprouts?
Dallas - big foam star?
Toronto - either a giant leaf, or an army hat camoflaged up with maple leafs, or even a beanie!
Atlanta - Space Moose (done by Adam Thrasher)?
Montreal - a giant C?
Boston - what's a bruin?
New York Islanders - a helmet with a replica of Manhattan on top?
New York Rangers - Army helmets?

So yeah. Lack of originality in my making nifty helmets, or lack of originality in naming teams? You decide.

I'm really going to stop with these bold lines.
(BoingBoing) Best. Headline. Ever. Those pesky zombies... out to ruin everyone!

(Wired) An interesting experiment into economics. I hope the the conclusion of this guy's story is a headline, since I'm interested to know how he fares.

(Alas!) Sesame St. has a dark side... A very. Dark. Side. Who knew Bird would snap like that?  ¶ 4:04 p.m.