To put the debate at rest
I did a post a little while ago about things I may have done, and I might as well at least tell y'all which were true and which weren't.

1. Skydove out of a plane whilst it was very much not on the ground.
True. Skydiving is amazingly awesome and I highly recommend it to everyone. You're statistically more likely to die on the car ride to the airport than you are during the jump. Just don't pack your own chute.

2. Got impatient waiting for a stuck chair lift and jumped off.
Bogus. I've considered many a time, but haven't tried it. My sister, on the other hand, did fall off the chair while getting on one time. In her defense, she was probably about 6 or 7, and it was maybe a 4 foot drop into several more feet of fluffy powder.

3. Had a five-month long intensive background check done on me by the Canadian Secret Service, which included a polygraph test.
True. I'd explain more, but then I'd have to kill you.

4. Juggled machetes.
Bogus. I can juggle balls or beanbags or fruit, but haven't made the leap to oblong, funky-weight stuff like clubs, knives, machetes or chainsaws. Soon, though... soon.

5. Been hit by a fastball hard enough to stay in intensive care overnight.
Bogus. I played baseball for a little while when I was a kid, before I learned how silly the sport really is. At that age, kids tended not to have the physical strength to put others in the hospital.

6. Done a backwards two-and-a-half backflip off a 3 meter springboard.
True. I did springboard diving rather extensively when I was younger, and made it to the national level a couple of times. If I recall correctly, I have even competed in the same event as Alexandre Despatie, who was so much better than I was, it's not even funny. I have also done a forward double somersault from the one-meter, and reverse and inward flips as well (where the motion is the same as forward and backwards moves, respectively, but the somersault direction is reversed and you rotate towards the board).

7. Got my ass handed to me sparring a fourth-dan Taekwon-do black belt who also happens to be both a second-dan in Jiujustu as well as ex-Military (Airborne, I think, but terribly unsure).
True. This was at a Taekwon-do tournament where the genius decision was made to put all heavyweight black belts in the same division, regardless of rank. Result? Several awesome sparring matches, accompanied by a similar number of thorough beatings.

8. Written software currently in use in Health Centers all over Alberta.
Bogus. I did work for Health Canada for a summer, and I trained about a dozen people who work at said Health Centers in how to use their laptop and work remotely with VNC-style software, but I never wrote any software.

9. Shattered just under five inches of solid wood with my elbow.
True. This is immense fun. Don't try it at home though.

10. Constructed a model car powered by pressurized water.
True. For a science project in junior high school, we had to make a self-propelled car. My dad helped me set up a one-way valve and water tank apparatus on the chassis of a busted remote controlled car. The whole assembly was pressurized with a bike pump and went surprisingly far for the size of the bottle. Made a little bit of a mess though...

And so the truth comes out. Any questions?  ¶ 11:14 a.m.