You have to watch out for Flibbertigibbet. He's tricksy.
An uneventful day. Sometimes I feel I'm channelling Capt. Star with this thing. For those that don't watch cartoons, Captain Star was the galaxy's finest rocket captain, and travelled all over finding new life and selling them things they didn't really need. He ends up on the edge of the universe, waiting for new orders, and manages to condense the rather outlandish adventures that beset him and his crew to some of the simplest diary entries. For example, when the Giant Space Cat comes to live with them and it threatens to grow larger than the planet and they have to get it to run through a hole in space with a giant ball of yarn, Star writes: "An uneventful day. Jones got a new cat, but we had to let it go home."

The difference, I suppose, is that instead of taking an interesting adventure and making it boring, I'm trying to take a boring day and make it sound like an interesting adventure. This can be trying at times, since all I really did today was play some Gunbound and go for a walk, but fortunately I just need to think of something that pisses me off and expound upon it. You might think that having so many boring days would be rather, well, boring, but I don't quite see it that way. Considering that I'm probably living healthier and less stressful, this whole work term is basically like a big 4 month vacation. Nobody pesters me for things, I don't have any real obligations or commitments other than work, and I still get out of the apartment enough to stop from going stir-crazy and acting like a loon. Quite peaceful, really.

Ninjas rule
No really, they do. The only thing is, can girls be ninjas? The guy who does 8-Bit Theater has a bit called "Ask Red Mage", where RM answers readers' questions. An excerpt:

"Dear Red Mage,

I have a very serious question involving to things I know little of. The first is women and the second is ninjas. My question is can women be ninjas? I have studied your column to extrapolate an answer, as women and ninjas are the subject of much debate. It is my strong belief that women cannot be ninjas. It is as silly as a woman being president. From what I have gathered from your column I will lay out the argument, as I see it, in Pros and Cons.

Pro Ninjas are referred to as he, although so is God and they are both vindictive in a way only a woman could be, con. Pro the greatest ninjas of all time are male, Ninja Gaiden, Shonobi, Kato (Pink Panther not the Green Hornet). Con disturbing amount of female "ninjas" in new fighting games, Ayane of Dead or Alive and Taki of Soul Caliber (although her package would indicate her greatest of all male ninjas). By definition anyone who studies ninjitsu would be a ninja, but as you've pointed out who is afraid of girls? How scary is a ninja if any red neck with a wife beater can give her a big "fell down" shiner anytime he gets a couple brews in him.

If there are female ninjas, please explain to me how it is possible. And if as I suspect there are no female ninjas, because they lack upper body strength and higher reasoning. Then let the entire internet know that girls are no more ninjas then I am the proud mother of a healthy litter of kittens.

Justin "Hate-Machine" Cold
Longwood, FL"

Your youth belies your wisdom, young Mr. Cold. It is true; women cannot become ninjas anymore than a man can become a bikini model or a Hooters waitress. The closest they can ever hope to come is a diamond thief in a leather cat suit. These new “girl ninjas” are probably nothing more than men disguised (in Taki’s case, poorly) as women in an effort to gain the upper hand on their chivalrous opponents. If you would like to learn more about this tactic, I refer you to our rich history of 80’s college movies, which are apparently full of ninjas.

I'm not sure I agree, entirely, but there are many valid points made. I mean, most of what is mentioned is, for the most part true, but chick ninjas are still quite cool. I guess the jury's still out on this one, but if I ever hear of a resolution, I'll letcha know. More to the point however, is that the new Ninja Gaiden is out and it sounds quite awesome. The fact that it appears to be hard as nails only sweetens the deal, seeing how one of the few minor beefs I had with Prince of Persia was that it was too easy. This looks just about right. Too bad I don't have and Xbox, or I'd probably be rushing to pre-order now. Given that the 'box is the last console I would like to own, it might be a while. Poo.

Invisibles
In more comic-y news, I've started reading this comic I downloaded on a whim called The Invisibles. It's written by Grant Morrison and is part of DC's Vertigo line of comics for adults, same as Sandman. So far, it's really cool. If you dig the whole Matrix "what is reality" thing, and don't mind having a decent helping of "secret society" tossed in, this just might be your scene. It's really quite trippy for the most part, and as you follow the main character, you're perpetually on this tenuous footing with respect to what's really happening and such, just like he must be. Some of the characters are pretty cool too, from the crazy hobo Mad Tom, to the rather badass King Mob, to the unconventional Lord Fanny. I'm about 7 issues in, but so far it's really good. I just might have to add this to my "comics to buy" list, along with League of Extraordinary Gentlemen vol.2 and all of Sandman.

I am...

I am Mr Do. I am sedentary by nature, enjoying passive entertainment, eating when the mood takes me, and playing with my food. I try to avoid conflict, but when I'm angered, I can be a devil - if you force me to fight, I will crush you. With apples. What Video Game Character Are You?

I tashte like Alcohol. Heh. Heh. I taste like beer. I like beer. Buy me a beer. I'm not drunk, I can drink plenty without... What was I saying? Beer. What Flavour Are You?

Which Soviet Leader are you? go to:the quiz!


You're Hobbes. First of all, the makers of this
quiz would like to congratulate you. You have
our seal of approval. You are kind,
intelligent, loving, and good-humoredly
practical. You're proud of who you are. At the
same time, you're tolerant of those who lack
your clearsightedness. You're always playful,
but never annoying. For these traits, you are
well-loved, and with good cause.


Which famous feline are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're
Liechtenstein!

Most folks don't take you that seriously, but you really make
a big deal out of being independent.  You don't do a whole lot for other
people, but you make the best of the resources available to you.  You really
like snow.  And mountains.  And being independent.  And you're
probably pretty small.
Take
the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Am I?
I so want some of these. You could to some of the coolest war wound movie scenes ever! "Where are my legs!?!?"

Sing with me now! "It's the end of the world as we know it..." Hypothetical situation: kids on the playground, and the crazy one has it in for the popular one. Crazy bites Popular, and Popular and his lackey proceed to beat Crazy within an inch of his life, then lobotomize him and try to shape Crazy into a new, productive member of the class while the other kids just watch. Should teachers now give Pop a reward? (I realize this is oversimplification, but it's a metaphor. Deal with it.)

If they also bring back leeches, I'm never going to the doctor again.

Anyways, due to my tremendous foresight, no dishes tonight. Also, for the record, I do need to do the dishes every night, since otherwise I need to prepare my next meal on the ruins of the last. My counter really is that small.  ¶ 5:56 p.m.