Thursday, January 29, 2004
Chuck Palahniuk ate my spleen.
Some of you may have seen a movie called Fight Club. Some may have also read the book it was based on. I have done both, and I share the sentiment that both of these works are good. What I have not done, however, is read more of Chuck's stuff. From Choke to Diary: A Novel, many of his works are still on my "to read" list. His short story "GUTS" however, is not. This is because I managed to hear it via a bootlegged mp3 last night. My opinion of it can be summed up in one very cliche, very used phrase.
FUBAR.
I'm really hoping that you know what that acronym stands for, since it's probably one of the most concise descriptions of "GUTS" that I can think of. Seriously, this story manages to top every embarrassing story you've ever heard about anyone. I would be very hard pressed to think of something that could happen to you that could be worse than this, and so, I would hope, should you be. Alternately disgustingly revolting and gut-bustingly hilarious, this is basically a twisted little romp on the topic of masturbation that only someone like Mr. Palahniuk could come up with. The weak of stomach need not apply. (literally, as some people have been reported to faint and vomit during his live readings) The truly brave can listen to the same mp3 I heard by clicking the above, and the more cautious can find out what this is all about by highlighting the below. If you are at all wanting to hear (or read, as the print version will be published in the March 2004 issue of Playboy) the story first-hand, I highly discourage checking out the little spoilers, as it will totally ruin it for you.
It's about a guy (well, several really, but the meat of the story is about one) who manages to get his large intestine sucked out of his asshole while jerking off at the bottom of a pool. He has to chew it off to get free. And it's told in the first person. You need to know this like you need teeth in your asshole. Glad to know?
And now the interesting news...
Beware Nokia phones... They can make you explode!
Cut your cheese, LASER STYLE!!! I would kill for one of those things, as I have much difficulty slicing cheese with my current slicer, and I am too cheap to buy a better one. You can send your pity in denominations of 10s and 20s, in paper envelopes please.
Call the French what you will, but not even Americans have the balls to pass this kind of thing. From what I hear though, they're already starting to pass the initial legislation or something...
Also, from BoingBoing.net,
The idea was originally from this article.
Boogaboogabooga! I'm the Phaaaaaaaantom!!
So turns out the Phantom game system may not be totally bogus after all. It's an interesting concept, and one that I think, quite frankly, shows a lot of promise. The idea of having broadband streamed games direct on demand to your TV is pretty cool, but from the sounds of it, they have a lot of work to get through first. Hopefully at E3 there will be something more meaty for people to dig into and make better judgements on. At least the whole thing isn't a hoax though...
Totally unrelated, (isn't everything though?) but today's Real Life is really really good, particularily if you've ever seen the Clerks! animated series. If you haven't, then I highly recommend you go rent/buy it immediately, especially if you liked the Clerks! movie. A combination of random mayhem with the unique perspectives of the two main characters, the only thing wrong with the series is that it was made for prime-time. Had it been produced for HBO or some other more ballsy network, as was South Park, it might still air today. At it stood, Kevin Smith couldn't use his grand repertoire of dick and fart jokes. Still, between the celebrity cameos, all the original actors reprising their roles, and a really kickin' visual style, it's a great watch. The DVD comes with a buttload of special features (commentary for all 6 episodes!!!) so you get even more bang for your bucks.
Last little thing to touch on, is that as I said before, Sympatico's news server blows chunks. The solution to all this lies in the little detail of me having unlimited bandwidth. Bring on the Torrents!! Ain't DSL wicked? ¶ 5:46 p.m.
Some of you may have seen a movie called Fight Club. Some may have also read the book it was based on. I have done both, and I share the sentiment that both of these works are good. What I have not done, however, is read more of Chuck's stuff. From Choke to Diary: A Novel, many of his works are still on my "to read" list. His short story "GUTS" however, is not. This is because I managed to hear it via a bootlegged mp3 last night. My opinion of it can be summed up in one very cliche, very used phrase.
FUBAR.
I'm really hoping that you know what that acronym stands for, since it's probably one of the most concise descriptions of "GUTS" that I can think of. Seriously, this story manages to top every embarrassing story you've ever heard about anyone. I would be very hard pressed to think of something that could happen to you that could be worse than this, and so, I would hope, should you be. Alternately disgustingly revolting and gut-bustingly hilarious, this is basically a twisted little romp on the topic of masturbation that only someone like Mr. Palahniuk could come up with. The weak of stomach need not apply. (literally, as some people have been reported to faint and vomit during his live readings) The truly brave can listen to the same mp3 I heard by clicking the above, and the more cautious can find out what this is all about by highlighting the below. If you are at all wanting to hear (or read, as the print version will be published in the March 2004 issue of Playboy) the story first-hand, I highly discourage checking out the little spoilers, as it will totally ruin it for you.
It's about a guy (well, several really, but the meat of the story is about one) who manages to get his large intestine sucked out of his asshole while jerking off at the bottom of a pool. He has to chew it off to get free. And it's told in the first person. You need to know this like you need teeth in your asshole. Glad to know?
And now the interesting news...
Beware Nokia phones... They can make you explode!
Cut your cheese, LASER STYLE!!! I would kill for one of those things, as I have much difficulty slicing cheese with my current slicer, and I am too cheap to buy a better one. You can send your pity in denominations of 10s and 20s, in paper envelopes please.
Call the French what you will, but not even Americans have the balls to pass this kind of thing. From what I hear though, they're already starting to pass the initial legislation or something...
Also, from BoingBoing.net,
Actual piracy on rise, response orthagonal to RIAA's response to "piracy"
------
Actual piracy is on the rise. That is to say, more people are boarding more ships with more guns and shooting more people and taking more cargo, all the while uttering more horrible cries of "ARRRRR."
Strangely, the shipping industry's response isn't to keelhaul passengers who don't tip well on ocean cruises, or to hull random pleasure boats, or to demand special bow-mounted lasers that vaporize any ship that gets within a hundred miles.
The idea was originally from this article.
Boogaboogabooga! I'm the Phaaaaaaaantom!!
So turns out the Phantom game system may not be totally bogus after all. It's an interesting concept, and one that I think, quite frankly, shows a lot of promise. The idea of having broadband streamed games direct on demand to your TV is pretty cool, but from the sounds of it, they have a lot of work to get through first. Hopefully at E3 there will be something more meaty for people to dig into and make better judgements on. At least the whole thing isn't a hoax though...
Totally unrelated, (isn't everything though?) but today's Real Life is really really good, particularily if you've ever seen the Clerks! animated series. If you haven't, then I highly recommend you go rent/buy it immediately, especially if you liked the Clerks! movie. A combination of random mayhem with the unique perspectives of the two main characters, the only thing wrong with the series is that it was made for prime-time. Had it been produced for HBO or some other more ballsy network, as was South Park, it might still air today. At it stood, Kevin Smith couldn't use his grand repertoire of dick and fart jokes. Still, between the celebrity cameos, all the original actors reprising their roles, and a really kickin' visual style, it's a great watch. The DVD comes with a buttload of special features (commentary for all 6 episodes!!!) so you get even more bang for your bucks.
Last little thing to touch on, is that as I said before, Sympatico's news server blows chunks. The solution to all this lies in the little detail of me having unlimited bandwidth. Bring on the Torrents!! Ain't DSL wicked? ¶ 5:46 p.m.
